In April 2021, I was awarded a Developing Your Creative Practice (DYCP) grant to research the impact of environmentalism on people of colour, a subject that is new to me but it is something that I had been wishing to investigate in my practice. I have spent this time researching and engaging with this topic.
My aim was to use the time and funds to reflect on how I can facilitate a workshop for communities of colour to process their thoughts about climate change and the implications this has on their lives. I have been using my experiences by exploring London’s various woodlands and parks as a place as a case study to understand the themes that I wanted to explore as part of my grant.
This felt appropriate before I engage in activities/workshops with other people. I wanted to know exactly what I wanted to do and what the implications would be on my practice. My blog reflects my thoughts and different approaches I have been engaging with over the course of the 8-9 months since I was awarded my grant.
This felt better! This portrait session felt like it had a purpose and I was more connected to the surroundings, I was present in my body and I took my time.
Having a uniform - a long black coat over a long black dress with sturdy black rubber boots helped recreate a character and I felt less self-conscious and more like I was performing a version of myself but was not far removed from who I am. I was thinking of Carrie Mae Weems series Roaming (2006) whilst making these self-portraits, where I was the photographer and the subject.
The images of me looking back at the camera whilst taking my portrait was me acknowledging the duality of my role and the agency I had given myself. The context was mine to navigate and explore. I enjoyed the role, although it was cumbersome to set up the camera/tripod in different locations at one point the heavens opened and it poured down with rain. I had to hide under a tree for 10 minutes with a raincoat and umbrella as protection. Although the tree, given to me by Mother Nature was my main savior.
I emerged afterward under a blue sky that gave me permission to continue, I then found a point of reference, a long elegant tree stump that seemed dead but was very much alive and rooted in its locality. I have been obsessively photographing this tree for a year now. I decided to formally introduce myself to this tree by taking my portrait next to it, my companion and collaborator. Not an object upon me to project my subjective opinions upon bit a feature in the landscape that accompanied me every time I was in Brockwell Park. Equally, I was aware that I functioning now in multiple guises, this character was me, I mean is me but also is an extension of the multifaceted identity that Black women have.
In Sarah Jane Cervenak’s book, Wandering, the last chapter focuses on Weems series Roaming which was made in Rome/Italy in 2006. Cervenak’s notes Weems motivations behind the series:
‘Weems’s interest in architecture and power motivates the Roaming series. But, at the same time, an openness to the sublime moves alongside these secularized meditations. This openness, which arguably could be tied to Weems’s understanding of self as a “woman who yearns”, and as someone who needs a mental break, enlarges the roaming at work in the series. Indeed, given the interplay between scenes of walking and crawling, staring and stillness, Weems’s Roaming suggests powerful movement beyond the physical. A domain constituted by phantasmatic wanderings into a world just beyond this one. A kind of movement that might just provide that light and the break she is waiting for’. (1)
Like, Weems, I was trying to navigate a sense of openness and power/empowering myself to feel freedom, and belonging, and resist the narrative that means that I cannot have agency over a place that I have known my whole life.
I too, yearn to have a sense of peace and healing in nature, that’s why I felt like this portrait felt like a collaboration, for the first time, I felt calm and aware of what I was doing. Walking/roaming both have the same intentions for me, the outcome might differ but the intention comes from the same place.
Weems goes on to identify the roaming woman in the series:
‘I call her my muse- but it’s safe to say that she’s more than one thing. She’s an alter-ego. My alter-ego, yes …this woman can stand in for me and for you; she can stand in for the audience, she leads you into history. She’s a witness and a guide…. She’s shown me a great deal about the world and about myself, and I’m grateful to her. Carrying a tremendous burden, she is a black woman leading me through the trauma of history. I think it’s very important that as a black woman, she’s engaged with the world around her; she’s engaged with history, she’s engaged with looking with being. She’s a guide into circumstances seldom seen'. (2)
Footnotes:
Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163
Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163
