What's next?

Marie Smith January 10, 2022

I want to go back to my initial post and the questions that I posed myself which was the aim of my research and the purpose of this blog:

I will spend the next six months researching and engaging with this topic and seeing how nature and environmentalism can be engaging people from communities of colour. I want to find people in my local community of Brixton, South London to see how they think and feel about climate change.

On reflection, I think that I have been able to stick to the main aims and objectives of my initial blog but I have seen myself shift and starting to absorb and be more considerate to what I was trying to do with my practice and research goals.

I was a bit ambitious, especially regarding the community engagement element, this is only something that I am beginning to shape and I am working on a series of workshops that I will be initiating this summer. I will also be embarking on a residency - New Forest National Park Artist in Residence with an organisation called SPUD Works, this residency will culminate with an exhibition in October 2022.

I have found that my practice and my ideas and responsibilities have shifted immensely and I don’t see myself going back to how I used to work. I won’t be working in colour photography anymore (as not part of ‘my work’) as the cost and environmental factors mean that this is not a sustainable way for me to work. I also have more autonomy developing, scanning, and making work at home in my own darkroom and I have found that I have been resourceful with the work that I am making. I definitely feel comfortable and certain of myself with the avenue that I wish to take my practice.

Image taken from the series, The Wanderer, December 2021, ©Marie Smith

I have made a new series of work, titled The Wanderer, a body of work that consolidates all of my research ideas and poses a new aesthetic that will be explored further in the workshops and residency.

I am now able to answer and provide more context to what I was initially interested in researching and will be looking to make the process of my work as engaging and collaborative, I will be using my working methodology from Whispering for help to aid the work and residency as I believe that I have developed some good transferable skills that I would like to expand upon. I will be working on my project proposal and identifying the demographics that I wish to work with.

I now have a better understanding of terms such as nature, sustainability, and climate change and how it applies to my work, therefore I can now start implementing those terms into my practice. I am excited and also feel buoyant about what is coming next for me and my practice. My focus has shifted and I am grateful that I was given the opportunity and funding to explore a new area that seemed very abstract to me until now.

Time to consolidate on the history of cyanotypes

Marie Smith November 21, 2021

Back in September, I found out that Cyanotype artist Anna Atkins was married to John Pelly Atkins, the son of Alderman John Atkins - a West India merchant and slave owner of several plantations in Jamaica. Atkin’s family received compensation (at the expense of UK taxpayers a debt that was only paid off in 2015 along with other former slave owners) when slavery was legally abolished.

To clarify Atkin’s family received compensation (some of claims made by Atkins family were successful and unsuccessful but this expense alongside other former slave traders was paid at the expense of UK taxpayers, a debt that was only paid off in 2015.) when Slavery Abolition Act was passed in 1833 but came into force 1834. The 1807 Slave Trade Act had legally abolished and prohibited slavery in British Empire, the 1833 Slavery Abolition Act was an expansion on 1807 act and had made it illegal to purchase and own enslaved people. In 1838, the enslaved Black people of Jamaica were emancipated.

This meant that Atkins had access to landscape and plant life in Jamaica, and she was able to document the ecosystems of Jamaica as part of her practice. From reading about Anna Atkins and her work, this fact is never mentioned. Almost glossed over, but an important part of her practice and research that we all needed to think about and reflect upon more. It’s almost as if this has been conveniently left out so as not to besmirch the reputation and legacy of Atkins.

Cyanotypes are an easy and accessible form of cameraless photography, used in schools and across homes and darkrooms across the world, this form of photography allows us to engage with photography and nature at the same time. Cyanotypes also focus on the chemistry of photography whilst creating a romantic and painterly interruption of what’s around us.

However, photography cannot escape the implications of slavery/colonialism within its history. As a technique that came into fruition in the 19th century, it really should not be surprising but actually, it should be expected and we should not be shocked to read and learn about this. Every facet of the UK has been liked to slavery and colonialism and it should be expected. In fact, I would be surprised if other historical photography techniques did not have a similar legacy.

Although I was initially shocked (and embarrassed) that I didn’t know actually thought about destroying these cyanotypes which on reflection would not have changed anything and only added to the horror and rage that I felt about learning this information.

Atkin’s studies of ferns - with 25 of the studies coming from Jamaica show that she was able to benefit from having access to Jamaica’s botanical landscape, the wealth that her husband acquired from slavery meant that Atkin was able to invest and spend time on her practice - creating an archive of work which is still reflected and exhibited widely. I find it strange and awkward that I can learn directly about the botanical history of Jamaica not from Black or Indigenous person but from white middle-class English women. My understanding comes from her gaze and from her archival studies - how strange and jarring processing this information has been for me over the past few months.

Writing this I am taken back to Jamaica Kincaid and her writings about the legacy of slavery and colonialism in Antigua.

After reflecting on this information a bit more I think the history of cyanotypes and Atkin’s deserves to be spoken about more often and with more rigor - how can we find a way of utilising this information to contextualise Atkin and cyanotype technique? I have not made any cyanotypes since I found out about this information.

From now on, I intend to engage with cyanotype with more intention and understanding of its history and the implications it has on my practice. The Artist Tom Pope has done a lot of research into Atkin’s and her cyanotypes practice - very illuminating and provides a lot of contexts.

Cyanotype of flowers that were gifted to me, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

Interview with Zoe Palmer from the dream(ing) field lab

Marie Smith November 4, 2021

The dream(ing) field lab started as a way to share different knowledge. systems and to create a space for women and femmes of African heritage. Speaking to Zoe from the dream(ing) field lab felt like a nice end to the artist interviews which I have conducted over the past few months. Each artist has given their thoughtful insights for me to reflect upon and I have been grateful and found myself feeling better intend with myself and my project.

Zoe elaborated on her relationship with nature and how she has never seen a separation between herself and the landscape, she has a bee-keeping practice which meant that she learned to work with nature and not against it in a way that we have been taught to see nature as an objective space to overcome.

This point of view is something that I have been reflecting on more and I have been using self-portraits as a way to medicate and document my relationship with nature - in particular with the landscape of my local park in South London. Zoe also talked about elements of the landscape such as fungi/moss and trees and how they function within their own eco-systems - having an awareness of this can hopefully enable us to see nature as not just an isolated objective space that is operating from us, we must learn to acknowledge and understand that nature is not here to serve us and our aspirations.

Zoe’s curiosity and learning about the ancestral knowledge has led her to work in community settings to share and feel agency over nature - this starting with bee-keeping and doing workshops with young people in nature and has been extended in the dream(ing) filed lab which is a collective that I came across on Twitter.

After going to one of their workshops, I felt a sense of community and calmness that I had been seeking lacked in particular around the conversation about climate change and nature. The concept of healing and healing within nature is something that I talked about with Myah Jeffers.

Our conversation focused on the community as I was curious how working as a collective has enabled Zoe and the dream(ing) field lab to think and visualise the conversation about climate change and ecology, in particular with black women and femmes. As I want to create a workshop in the future with a specific focus on communities of colour, I think the methodologies and ideas of the dream(ing) field lab have been a good experience to reflect upon in any future projects I embark on. especially when I am thinking about language and also how to create a welcoming space that will enable everyone to feel engaged and open to talk about climate change, ecology, and their relationship to nature.

Self portrait made in Brockwell Park as part of WIP Sequence. October 2021. ©Marie Smith

Wandering, Roaming and collaborating with nature

Marie Smith October 3, 2021

This felt better! This portrait session felt like it had a purpose and I was more connected to the surroundings, I was present in my body and I took my time.

Having a uniform - a long black coat over a long black dress with sturdy black rubber boots helped recreate a character and I felt less self-conscious and more like I was performing a version of myself but was not far removed from who I am. I was thinking of Carrie Mae Weems series Roaming (2006) whilst making these self-portraits, where I was the photographer and the subject.

The images of me looking back at the camera whilst taking my portrait was me acknowledging the duality of my role and the agency I had given myself. The context was mine to navigate and explore. I enjoyed the role, although it was cumbersome to set up the camera/tripod in different locations at one point the heavens opened and it poured down with rain. I had to hide under a tree for 10 minutes with a raincoat and umbrella as protection. Although the tree, given to me by Mother Nature was my main savior.

I emerged afterward under a blue sky that gave me permission to continue, I then found a point of reference, a long elegant tree stump that seemed dead but was very much alive and rooted in its locality. I have been obsessively photographing this tree for a year now. I decided to formally introduce myself to this tree by taking my portrait next to it, my companion and collaborator. Not an object upon me to project my subjective opinions upon bit a feature in the landscape that accompanied me every time I was in Brockwell Park. Equally, I was aware that I functioning now in multiple guises, this character was me, I mean is me but also is an extension of the multifaceted identity that Black women have.

In Sarah Jane Cervenak’s book, Wandering, the last chapter focuses on Weems series Roaming which was made in Rome/Italy in 2006. Cervenak’s notes Weems motivations behind the series:

‘Weems’s interest in architecture and power motivates the Roaming series. But, at the same time, an openness to the sublime moves alongside these secularized meditations. This openness, which arguably could be tied to Weems’s understanding of self as a “woman who yearns”, and as someone who needs a mental break, enlarges the roaming at work in the series. Indeed, given the interplay between scenes of walking and crawling, staring and stillness, Weems’s Roaming suggests powerful movement beyond the physical. A domain constituted by phantasmatic wanderings into a world just beyond this one. A kind of movement that might just provide that light and the break she is waiting for’. (1)

Like, Weems, I was trying to navigate a sense of openness and power/empowering myself to feel freedom, and belonging, and resist the narrative that means that I cannot have agency over a place that I have known my whole life.

I too, yearn to have a sense of peace and healing in nature, that’s why I felt like this portrait felt like a collaboration, for the first time, I felt calm and aware of what I was doing. Walking/roaming both have the same intentions for me, the outcome might differ but the intention comes from the same place.

Weems goes on to identify the roaming woman in the series:

‘I call her my muse- but it’s safe to say that she’s more than one thing. She’s an alter-ego. My alter-ego, yes …this woman can stand in for me and for you; she can stand in for the audience, she leads you into history. She’s a witness and a guide…. She’s shown me a great deal about the world and about myself, and I’m grateful to her. Carrying a tremendous burden, she is a black woman leading me through the trauma of history. I think it’s very important that as a black woman, she’s engaged with the world around her; she’s engaged with history, she’s engaged with looking with being. She’s a guide into circumstances seldom seen'. (2)

Footnotes:

Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163
Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163

A revelation of sorts

Marie Smith September 26, 2021

My last blog was a revelation, or actually, a form of clarity that came to me that I had been failing to articulate. The lack of being able to articulate the problem or the next stage of the process had been making me feel lackluster and confused. So writing my blog about Yan Wang Preston’s work was a great initiative and also enabled me to formulate where I wished to see my process heading.

I must also remember that my process does not necessarily need to end in a resulting ‘product’, although I am still making collages and sequences as part of my WIP series, they are themselves a reflection of my process/product adding to the conversation and it is good to see my gaze shifting and becoming more attuned.

There are elements of the series Whispering for help, that can translate to any future projects I do, in particular, if I do choose to work with communities of colour or if I seek to work with specific individuals. Again, I am shifting my focus to providing and not concentrating on the process which only signifies for me the unnecessary pressure I am putting on myself to create something coherent to show people.

I have been viewing nature as an objective space, whereas really it’s more subjective, in particular, if I am trying to ascertain my relationship with it. This means that it cannot be objective and also this means that I have been projecting what I want and what I anticipate rather than seeing and experiencing the landscape for what it is.

The separation between myself, and using my camera as a tool of experience means that I have not been negotiating my relationship with the space beyond seeing the place ‘for me to explore or to assert’ my sense of belonging’ rather than a participant. That’s the essence of the relationship. That is what I have been missing and failing to translate. This means that I can be very intentional now and also think about how I can apply sustainable darkroom practices that are specific to my relationship with the participant.

I am glad that this revelation has come to me now, and I feel a sense of ease and weight being lifted as I now have the language to move my processes onto the next stage of development. Also, perhaps I can now go on making more photos which more intention knowing that I have a framing. I can now think about how or if I want to implement text in the work in some ways.

I boiled some corn on the cob husks yesterday, to use as a developer, a very new experience and I will try it with one roll of film to see how it goes, apparently, sweetcorn has a high phenol count but we’ll have to wait and see if that translate well as a developer.

WIP Sequence, Self-portrait with a landscape from council estate I live on in London, September 2021, ©Marie Smith

Interview with Yan Wang Preston - Who are we, we are nature?

Marie Smith September 24, 2021

Speaking to Yan Wang Preston provided another space for me to pivot into. One that was unfamiliar to me as Yan’s work focuses on the landscape of China and its multifaceted identity that is usually seen in a very binary context when thinking about how China is presented in the mainstream media. Dr. Yan Wang Preston moved to the UK from China in 2005 after completing her training in Clinical Medicine at Fudan University, Shanghai, China. Upon moving to the UK, Yan took up photography and in 2018 she completed her practice-based Ph.D. at the University of Plymouth under the supervision of Liz Wells and Jem Southam.

I was very intrigued by Yan’s methodical and precise style, her landscape photographs were not just aesthetic but move the landscape away from being an objective space to a subjective ream for me to consider it as a place beyond and separate from myself. After asking my first question, Yan asked or more so posed) questions to me from a poem, ‘Who are we, we are nature’?

This question was not completely removed from what Season Butler said to me about thinking beyond nature being the physical context of ‘naturalistic’ and trying to encompass everything as a form of nature. Yan’s question was to provoke me to think about my physicality and body in relation to nature. Beyond my behavior in the context of climate change, I try to be responsible as much as I can, but do I see myself as something that is natural?

Yan’s practice and outlook are informed by Chines philosophy, that we as humans are part of the world and that there are multiple microworlds that are visible and invisible to us but we are all connected. This thinking goes against a capitalist mindset, for me as it means that nature is not seen as an object to exploit and subjugate for our own uses.

From researching her series Mother River, I noted that she had added maps and GPS altitudes, in an attempt for others to go and experience the landscape for themselves and in my opinion to ensure that the landscape is not just seen as an objective space devoid of history and nuance. On reflection, I did ask Yan about community and the about other things but I think the most profound thing that I resonate with me with my own research is her philosophy and outlook towards her work.

The slowness of the analog process that she is being considerate and her academic background means that the level of research means that she is engaged in finding answers to existing problems and finding ways to provide an alternative or a way for us the think about our agency and the hierarchical structures that means that we have a limited viewpoint of nature.

Photos from inside a tree leaves in Brockwell Park, shot using Ilford HP5 Plus 400 film and developed at home using chemicals

Realising this means that I must again be more conscious of my own gaze and the limitations I have been placing on myself and my practice, I am aware of my body in these spaces but I am not really present, distracted mostly by having my camera with me, this tool creates another lens to see the world in without me considering what it is I am looking for?

The two photos featured in my blog are spaces that I go to often, the repeated steps that I take are familiar and ensure that I feel safe and I have never thought about mapping out my steps or sharing the walks that I take so that they could perhaps become a point of conversation. I was also thinking that this would be a way for me to find that connection to the space beyond the objective perspective I have been taking so far.

I need to be conscious of what I am doing, recently I feel I have been wondering in a daze and I feel a bit stuck and unable to articulate what I want to achieve, perhaps I have moved too far away from the initial remit of what I had proposed but perhaps this diversion will create more clarity for me. I am quite focused on the process at the moment but I am aware that at the end of this I would like to have some sort of an idea of what the ‘product’ could be.

My gaze has not shifted yet and I was glad that this interview acted as a type of intervention to my own philosophy and provided me with another nuanced perspective that I need to think about. I will be taking a break from shooting, and will probably pick it up in a few months once I have consolidated my thoughts a bit more.

Interview with Myah Jeffers - community, healing and connecting with body and ancestry

Marie Smith August 28, 2021

The conversations I have been having with myself and now with other artists have been illuminating, forcing me to change my biases and the binaries that have framed my understanding of nature and my perception of what is nature.

Questions around belonging and community have been a preoccupation of mine and wanting to seek other artists that have similar concerns and cross-overs in their practice have made me feel more connected. Last week I had the pleasure of speaking to photographer and director Myah Jeffers.

Myah is Barbadian-British, London-based documentary, dramaturg, and portrait photographer. Myah' primarily documents the experiences of Queer and intergenerational, Black and diaspora communities. All of Myah’s work is made on analogue film - medium format.

I had been following Myah’s work for a while and I felt a kinship with her work not only as an analogue photographer but as an artist whose work focuses on mental health, community, nature, and healing. So, I was super glad to spend an hour talking to her and sharing mutual reading materials and experiences.

Self portrait made in Dungeness - Kent, juxtaposed with a tree in Bodiam - East Sussex, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

With every interview I start off by asking the same two questions, to introduce themselves and to talk about their relationship and research about nature/ecology and environmentalism. The first question might sound silly, but by having the artist introduce themselves in their own words then perhaps they can illuminate themselves further.

With the second question, I already am aware that they have a relationship with nature from researching their work but again, for me, it’s about finding out the nuances and preoccupation with that artist that set the tone for the interview. I also answer these two questions which provides them (in this case Myah) with a further understanding of who I am and what I am seeking to ascertain from our conversation.

Myah’s relationship to nature is a space that can she connect to her body and her ancestry and to have a deeper understanding of community. Nature is a place of healing and is a place with herself but this relationship is constantly evolving. Myah moved to the UK from Barbados when she was 16 years old and this dual experience of the UK and Barbados has shaped her perception. Myah’s practice and research are rooted in reading and she mentioned two books by bell hooks - all about love and sisters of the yam which have provided her with solace and also enabled her to re-position herself with the landscape and also with her own process of healing.

We talked a lot about healing and trying to connect with the physical land, and how the Black diaspora lost their connection to agriculture which has led to the mind-body split due to a loss of engagement with nature and agricultural practices, this is exacerbated by diaspora communities living and working in cities.

Last summer was very emotional for many and in particular regarding the inaction and ambivalence from institutions regarding the BLM movement, not to mention the pandemic - this past year has been very draining and a struggle to reconcile. Myah mentioned lying down in Hackney Marshes soaking up the air and forging a spiritual connection with the earth. These experiences provided her with a prompt that evolved into the series There is No healing in Silence. This piece was made in Epping Forest and provided an opportunity to forge intergenerational discourse, the feeling of touch, and spiritual connection.

This is something I should try to engage with more, the land and the elements of the ecology of where I am. What is my spiritual connection to the land? How can I forge that connection rather than forcing it? Do I need to be taking photographs at every opportunity, probably not if I am honest?

Recently, I’ve developed a habit of carrying my camera with me everywhere, always looking to find an opportunity to document what I am seeing as though this will be enough to know how I feel about a place. I have lost the habit of walking, sitting, and being in the present moment with myself and where I am. I feel this is partly to do with a disconnection I feel with London at the moment and also because I have made more concerted efforts to explore other places outside of London.

Nevertheless, this act of sitting and being at one with the land reminded me that having this experience is just as important as making photographs. The discourse around ecology and climate change is not limited. A valid point that Myah made was that perhaps Black and diaspora communities do not think or use the same language as those in mainstream media in Western society but the concerns and considerations still exist.

Barbados is known as ‘Little England’ and the legacy of colonialism permeates the landscape. Myah reflected on how tourism and capitalism are shaping and fragmenting the natural landscape of the island. The beauty that remains is becoming commodified with places such as Harrison’s Cave. This cave is primarily populated by American and British tourists. The invisible and visible distinctions within the landscape play a part in the segregation of the communities. Myah mentioned tapping into memories of Barbados when she feels the need to retrieve a place that is comforting for her.

Agency, is a word that is instrumental in both my and Myah’s practice and is something that is always at the forefront of the work that we make. We spoke about what this means to us and our practice and how photography has created a space for us to find an agency. For Myah, the agency is a way for her to ensure that she can contribute to collective healing and to the community of resistance. Thus, allowing Black and diaspora communities to have the autonomy to be safe with themselves, with each other, and with the land.

Myah also reflected on her experience with her commission from where I am standing with the Empathy Museum and working with front line NHS workers - how a camera is a tool and the most important part of the process is the connection you have with the people. To create an authentic connection is to rescind some control in order that the people you are documenting are at the center of the process. So trust, which comes with constant dialogue with the participants is we talked about trust and how this can impact the final portrait if the trust is not there.

Community is at the heart of her practice, and Myah has definition of a community is based on bell hook’s definition; Community is a space where Black people can exist without fear, paranoia, or oppression. An imperative part of Myah’s work is to document Black communities and how conversations, through talking and through photography can aid the healing process. By seeing ourselves, in spaces, we are able to connect on a spiritual level. Myah is also seeking to contribute to the archive and the experience of Black Diaspora communities. In particular intergenerational dynamics and conversations can prompt further conversations within themselves.

Myah also talked about her gaze and how this is affected by commercial and personal work, and how it has shifted. She is aware of the implication this has on her practice, in particular when she goes back to make work in Barbados. Having lived in the UK now for several years and having access to film cameras, in particular medium format cameras, Myah is having to navigate the implications this has on her practice.

Mental health and wellbeing are at the forefront of my practice and I instantly felt this connection with Myah’s work so I felt that it was important for me to discuss this topic with her. I asked Myah about her research and how as Black people we are holding trauma and how we can find the tools to release the trauma that has manifested in their bodies.

Myah’s main research was bell hook’s sister of the yam, Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved and conversations with other Black women. This included having conversations and doing workshops in Epping Forest which became part of the process for the project There is No healing in Silence.

Also, it was great to know that I was not the only person that found fiction a relevant and important part of the research. Personally, fiction in particular writers from Black and diaspora communities holds an element of historical truth that is just as important and informed as academic writing. For Myah, fiction creates an important moment for Black and diaspora communities to contextualise their experience, this is informed by how we are treated in society. Fiction by Black writers centers our being and existence and fiction can create moments that she can reference and respond to, words are portraits.

As an analogue photographer, I was interested in Myah’s perspective on the process of working solely with film and how the has impacted her gaze and the type of work that she makes - personally and commercially. Myah made the switch to making work in analogue a year ago after she found herself uninspired by the digital process as it not allowing her to slow down her process.

The process with medium format film is more intentional but she is making the move to 35mm and it will be interesting to see how having a smaller camera will impact her practice. Medium format photography provides Myah with space and time to really interrogate her intentions, to look closely, and to ensure that she is capturing the nuances of her sitter. By utilising traditional portraiture photography as part of her practice, Myah is subverting the historical narrative about how Black people have been documented.

It was also lovely to end the conversation sharing the names of some of the artist artists/filmmakers and photographers that we both like, such as Adama Jolloh, Gordon Parks, Roy DeCarava, Khalik Allah, Kahlil Joseph, and Zanele Muholi was amongst the many that Myah referenced.

Self portrait collage, Black and white, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

My conversation with Myah was very illuminating, the process of speaking to different artists has pushed to think about what I am doing with my research and what I am learning. I felt a string kinship with so much of what she said and she has reminded me that I need to take some more time, healing and dealing with trauma.

I thought I had processed this, but my recent social anxiety and living in London have triggered some underlying concerns that I felt that I had resolved. I also think that I need to spend more time, funny enough away from my camera and more time with looking and allowing myself to have a direct engagement with the land. So the next walk I go on I won’t bring my camera. I need to sit with my thoughts and feeling and notice what is resonating with me.

At the end of the research I hope to engage with Black and diaspora community to create a piece of work but I feel that before I can do that I have more work to do on myself and my understanding of nature and my relation ship with the land. I need to look more and make concerted efforts to be more honest with myself.

I need to heal.

I’m aware that I carry a lot of tension and I thought the act of photography would be a relief and to extend it does but it’s not the best way of dealing with every situation. I’m sure as I go back and listen to my conversation with Myah that there will be more for me to engage and reflect upon.

Self portrait collage, Colour, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

Reflecting on community

Marie Smith August 21, 2021

After a year and a half of lockdowns due to the pandemic, which involved not being around anyone (except my partner) for a long period of time; I have had two trips recently, with two different friendship groups. One is an old friend of over 10 years and the other is a more recent friendship that has to fruition over the past two years or so.

In early August, I went on a walking trip with Ameena Rojee and Aster Reem David. I had known Aster for a couple of years since she participated in my project Whispering for help.

Since, then we have cultivated a strong friendship, supportive and reciprocal as we navigate the world as two photographers and women of colour with an interest in nature and ecology in our practice.

This felt strange thinking about it but this was the first time I had met Ameena, we had been speaking for a few months via email. This had then been extended to a WhatsApp group between the three of us, which then moved online, and finally, we met in person.

Meeting Ameena felt very normal, it was not strange at all and the three of us resonated well. Ameena and Aster do have more energy than me and I think I was the quietest of the three of us.

We met at Chilworth station which was accessible to all of us via train and car, we set off for a walk around the Gunpowder Mills that once resided in the area. A once thriving community that provided ammunition for the UK has now been left bare but with elements of the structured, gaps for us to project our own narratives and preconceived ideas about the residents and their existence.

As three photographers we were not offended when one of us strolled off in mid-conversation to capture an image and we also acted as models for each other, the weather was a bit dreary but this did not stop us from making the most of the situation and it was an enjoyable walk.

I was surprised by the variety of the location that we came across in Chilworth, deep forest, green ferns, sandy walking paths, and a church at the top of a massive hill that seemed quaint. I did not expect this from a place only an hour outside of London but this is a testament to the variety that the UK has.

The walking paths were sometimes hard to negotiate and we were prohibited from entering certain spaces or given a warning if we came across a precarious path.

Access to land in the UK is not spoken about much, although we are under the impression that there is plenty of space for us to explore, realistically most of it is fenced off and used for farmland or private property. I recently bought a book by Guy Shrubsole which addresses the history of land ownership and how we - the 99% who don’t own land can reclaim agency over these segregated areas.

Once I have read this book I will be reflecting on this more, as knowing this information now, I cannot ignore it and the implications it has on my relationship with the landscape of the UK.

One thing that was different for me, not just being in a group but also being around other people of colour in a non-city environment. This might have looked unusual to some and I did clock some people looking at us longer than usual or adjusting their body language when we walked towards them. I did wonder what the difference would have been if we were white or if we didn’t have our cameras.

Having Aster and Ameena with me did provide me with some solace - a way to feel connected to a community also I didn’t feel scared or anxious as I knew they would not leave me and we were conscious of how we negotiated the landscape as a group and as individuals.

I felt safe.

The next challenge for me is to do a walk like this by myself, again. I spoke about my relationship with nature in an earlier blog in which I documented work and I am making work around this subject as part of West Coast Photo Festival. This experience was positive and I will be working towards building up my confidence to do a photo walk by myself.

One thing that I think I need to consider is how my body and spirit are connected with the landscape. Having a camera is actually very distracting and you can lose that tangled connection to the land as your brain is engaging in other activities. I also think that it would be worth me addressing some anxieties around safety and my consciousness of what I want and what I need to work towards, not just within my practice but within myself.

Self portrait made in Dungeness, developed at home with plant based materials, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

A few weeks later I went on another trip, again not far from London to a place in East Sussex called Bodiam which is close to Hasting. I went camping with my partner Maciej and two of my friends and another couple Laura and Reuben. I had known Laura for over ten years and Reuben for six years. This was my first time camping since my friend’s 30th birthday which was seven years ago.

The pandemic meant that there has been no opportunity to go away abroad, although I am double vaccinated I am aware of the many variants developing and I still believe that precautions need to be taken until the majority of the world is fully vaccinated.

The camping in Bodiam was very different and also much less about me being a photographer with a camera and more about me being on holiday, although this didn’t stop me from bringing two cameras and lots of colour and black and white film.

The weather was atrocious so we didn’t actually spend much time in Bodiam which was a shame but as Reuben and Laura had a car we went on explorations not far - to Dungeness, Camber Sands, and Bexhill-On-Sea. The coastal locations were varied and also provided different experiences, blaring sunshine in Dungeness and Bexhill but the hostility of wind bound all of the locations together.

Visiting Dungeness was a highlight as we went to Dereck Jarmen’s home - Prospect Cottage. Dungeness is like no other place I had been to before in the UK, it was sublime and very strange. The landscape was rocky, with no tall buildings, trees, or soil. Boats littered the landscape and you would find plant life in abundance flourishing under the rocky surface, it was truly stunning to see plant life thriving in a location that looked bleak. Everyone lived in fisherman-style cottages, some fancier than others.

The nuclear power station was an ominous presence and one of the tallest buildings around, we spotted a few lighthouses and walked towards them, not getting any closer and being beaten down by the constant wind we changed tracks and walked further down the road before stopping for lunch where we rested. It was not cold and despite the wind, the sun felt warm and we all left with a slight glow from our walk.

Being at Prospect Cottage and seeing the care and attention that Jarmen had taken into cultivating his home led me to think again about Jamaica Kincaid’s garden in Vermont, with gardens there is a philosophy and intention behind them that is meant to be communicated to you.

This never occurred to me until recently. It’s weird! Just how you can overlook so much.

Jarmen’s garden consisted of circular congregations of plants and perennials - hardy plant life that could withstand the weather during the changing season. The smell and colours were a triumph and he also intertwined bits of metals and iron into sculptures that intertwined with the plant life and were not in tension with it.

Being here made me think about my interview with Season Butler and her talking about what we consider to be ‘nature’ ‘not nature’ and that Jarmen’s garden was a perfect symphony of this juxtaposition, Jarmen had made a deliberate attempt, not to this distinction and walking around the garden you would never think the corroded iron sculptures looked out of place, in fact, they added vibrancy and colour. Burnt red, orange, and deep browns remind me these materials are a part of nature.

There is no distinction.

I recently started to read Modern Nature a diary that Jarmen wrote whilst living and finessing Prospect Cottage over the course of two years after his diagnosis with HIV in the late 1980s. Like Kincaid, Jarmen reflects on his childhood and his introduction ton to plant life and nature and how this has impacted how he views his home and garden at Prospect Cottage.

The personal account also provides me with more insight into his day-to-day grind with the garden and, the various storms and changes of weather that he had to grapple with. Like Kincaid talking about her plant seed trip to China and how her garden would deteriorate in cold winter months in Vermont, I felt that the garden told me a lot about them and about their identities.

So this trip was very different from Chilworth, I felt more of an internal conversation happening, more threads have been coming together and the different experiences have shown more light onto what I have still to learn and grapple with.

I am not sure where my practice is heading and I am trying not to get caught up with that yet, being present in the moment is more important and is providing me with lots of consideration.

Dereck Jarmen’s garden, Prospect Cottage, August 2021 ©Marie Smith

This collage is made from a set of different self portrait’s that were developed at home with plant based developer (Tomato plant leaves).I made a mistake with developing the film but I have decided to embrace the error and work with instead of against the image. Self portraits taken in Derek Jarmen’s garden at Prospect Cottage, Dungeness, ©Marie Smith, August 2021 — This collage is made from a set of different self portrait’s that were developed at home with plant based developer (Tomato plant leaves).
I made a mistake with developing the film but I have decided to embrace the error and work with instead of against the image. Self portraits taken in Derek Jarmen’s garden at Prospect Cottage, Dungeness, ©Marie Smith, August 2021

Again with the plant-based developers, I am making at home, mistakes are still being made and I am finding ways to continue to embrace them and find new ways to communicate the nuances and beauty of nature. I might switch things up and start using my medium format camera, so more depth and also be a case I am able to be a bit more accurate.

Interview with Season Butler - we discuss her novel Cygnet, community and what is nature and not nature?

Marie Smith August 12, 2021

I’ve been doing a lot recently, more than I can process so I will try to do one thing at a time. My research has made a rapid growth of late, elements and ideas that I had struggled to articulate now seem to be coming together and I can question what I knew prior to starting research. It seems as though my understanding was quite shallow but this is an opportunity to question and inform myself.

As part of my research, I have reached out to photographers, researchers, writers, and artists with a particular focus on speaking to people of colour to gain insight into their relationship with nature, environmentalism, and landscape. What do these terms mean to them and these subjects have informed their practice?

Last week, I interviewed Season Butler over Zoom, Season is one of five artists that I’ll be talking to over the next few months. Next week I will be in conversation with Myah Jeffers.

I also have interviews lined up interviews with Yan Wang Preston and Zoe Palmer from the dream(ing) field lab.

Photo taken from a walk to Seven Sisters Cliff, July 2021 ©Marie Smith

Season Butler is a London-based writer, performance artist, and teacher, and recently completed a Ph.D. in Creative Writing at Goldsmiths College, University of London. Season’s debit novel Cygnet was released in 2019 and we spent time talking about her research behind Cygnet and also about her interest in environmentalism, nature, and climate change.

Season was born and grew up in Washington, DC/USA, and part of her childhood was spent preoccupied with environmentalist movements, such as Earth Day. Having a parent who studied herbalist traditions meant that she was brought up in a household that was conscious of nature and plant life. Her parent’s politics/ethics have shaped a mindful awareness of nature and how nature is an intrinsic part of life. Nature is not just part of a rural environment and is not something that is not removed from the city environment.

We spoke about the discourse of environmentalism and climate change, the effects this has on people in the global south in particular, and how capitalism has exacerbated and created uneven power dynamics and structures that means that exploitation of plant life, people, and resources will continue. Climate Change is not the great equaliser and although it is a global issue others are more vulnerable the need for material and pollution that governs our lives are the ultimate means that pre-existing equality is continued rather than address with a way to resolve it.

The interconnection between capitalism and climate change means that we have been walking towards the destruction of the planet and its resources for many decades but this does not mean that the climate change movement is a new phenomenon. Season spoke about engaging in the complexities of the contemporary climate crisis, and that means addressing the intersection between class, race, and age.

Season talked about the history of environmentalism, her awareness of the movement that preceded in particular in the post-war era, and how the movement is in its current iteration has influenced by previous movements and writers. Season cited Silent Spring by Rachel Carson which was written in 1962 when Carson was in her late 40s. There is a perception that people over 65 were not environmentalists but what choices were presented to them - what structures perhaps meant that they were not given choices to take the environment into consideration.

Season also spoke about how the community can be seen as a unit of human survival, a system of people that are considered towards each other and are invested in your survival. Not forgetting the need to thrive even under difficult circumstances. Community is also about being aware of your responsibility toward their survival means that community is not a linear concept and can be quite broad as well.

Season got me to think about what is considered ‘nature’ and ‘not nature’ and the fact that a beehive can be seen as natural but a skyscraper might not be seen as natural although both structures are made from raw material and house a community. Cityscapes are also landscapes and how can I be more expansive with what I consider ‘natural’? We also talked about the lack of access to green space and this got me thinking about why green spaces are so important in cities and how places like Brockwell Park have provided me with an introduction to nature which still continues.

Safety is a concern and for some communities, being in open green spaces might not feel safe or welcoming, this does vary in the context but this can affect your feeling of being from the land and having a relationship with the land.

Lastly, I asked Season what her hopes were for the future and she talked about having effective leadership and finding the most effective ways for us are able to thrive and take action to fight against the essential problems with climate change. To be bold and efficient so that one day the Climate Change movement and so many protest movements can be made obsolete.

My conversation with Season has provoked new questions for me, some I had not considered before and some that I had dismissed entirely. For example, how have I decided what is nature and what is not nature? What preconceived ideas have I been carrying around which has been affecting my practice and how can I be more open to what is ‘nature’ and ‘what is not nature’?

The conversation around climate change is not new and the relationship between Black and other ethnic minority communities is not new either. this is something that I have resolved within myself and I have found enough work and writing to solidify that we have a history and a discourse within this canon.

I now need to ensure that I find a spoke to utilise for myself, a space that resonates with me, and somewhere that I am able to build a trusting relationship. I am looking at the end of this research to make a series about a specific space with societies people and until now I have dismissed London but maybe I have been hasty and I have not given enough time to this concept.

Cyanotype made during Cyanotype workshop at South London Gallery in August 2021 with Alice Cazenave who is a member of The Sustainable Darkroom. The flowers and plant leaves were picked from the Orozco Garden in South London Gallery, ©Marie Smith

And finally to finish off this week’s blog, I have now completed my workshop at South London Gallery and I have learnt a lot of methodologies and practices that I will carry through with. I have already started to develop black and white film at home with my own plant based developer. I have also learnt some more nuances regarding cyantypes, how you can bleach them (using soda crystals) and dying them (using anything from rosemary to green tea bags).

On reflection with my conversation with Season, this cyanotype was made from plants, flowers found in South London Gallery garden, a wonderful juxtaposition between concrete and nature growth around through and in relation to the concrete rather than against it.

So I can certainly find myself urging towards something that I already thought of but had discredited but I think I need more time to decide if I will carry on this trajectory or whether I should become more focused on what is around and in front of me - can the city landscape provide me with more answers than I anticipated. More exploration will need to be done I think before I can answer.

Happy accidents can yield surprising results

Marie Smith July 31, 2021

Sometimes accidents can propel you in a whole new direction, one that you did not intend, however it good to also follow through on a process and see what happens. I accidentally messed up the development of my own images during the Plant based developer workshop with Eileen White from Sustainable Darkroom.

I was also unable to use my local lab’s scanner as this would have jammed it as I had cranked the hols of the side of the film when I was winding the film on the developing wheel during the workshop. This meant that the film ended being stuck together and and some area became undefined and under developed. Undeterred I decided to see what I could do with he fit, I also didn’t want to waste the film and consign it to the bin, wondering what if?

So, my local lab at Photofusion suggested that I rent their highly powerful and accurate Imacon scanner, which I did and it was good to use it, was not difficult and I was also to obtain 20 images from a roll of 35 images, not bad!

On inspection at home I decided that it wasn’t worth trying to make the images look accurate and refined, the images were too blurred and I actually liked the fading and distortion that I had created, I added a filter to them - sepia tone which made them look like historical images from 19th century - well not exactly but close enough!

I them printed them off onto reclaimed paper from Photofusion (thank you!) and now I am wondering what to do with them next, I feel I need to keep on with the process and see art can be done, whether that be collages or annotations, writing of some sort. I’ll just play around and see what happens.

Tomorrow I am off for a walk in Chilworth with two friends, both photographers and we ware going to explore the landscape of Surrey! This will be a nice opportunity for me to go for a walk with other women of colour and to also explore a place that is unfamiliar. My aim is to try and capture some portraits of them and of myself, to see what community feels like in this situation and to try and enact some thoughts that have been percolating in my mind of late.

I will them be developing the film and scanning at home myself - I have just bought a flatbed scanner so I am looking to get more agency and autonomy over my working methods, and to save money as well and in the long run it will be better for me.

Images below are scans and prints of the 35mm roll of film from workshop.

I scanned the film using Imacon scanner which I hired from PhotoFusion for a few hours, the process was simple and I concentrated on scanning the images that had a tangible image on it.

It was hard to decipher the septic frames so some images ended up needing onto each other unintentionally or the tress were braced but he fact they were not processed correctly.

First scan and first impression, each frame was different and I had to manage my expectations, although I am intrigued by the process and what could come next, the potential in the image is what is intriguing me.

Managed to recover some space paper from PhotoFusion that would not go through the printer. the paper is high quality and mixture of fine art, semi gloss and gloss paper. I have cut the paper up to A4 size s that I can feed it through my inject printer at home. This also means I can be sustainable in my process, experiment and know that nothing is going to waste and that I have freedom to be playful. — Managed to recover some space paper from PhotoFusion that would not go through the printer. the paper is high quality and mixture of fine art, semi gloss and gloss paper. I have cut the paper up to A4 size s that I can feed it through my inject printer at home.
This also means I can be sustainable in my process, experiment and know that nothing is going to waste and that I have freedom to be playful.

I printed off some of the images, a mixture of contrasts and black and white and the sepia Toine which I changed in Adobe Lightroom, they have a haunting quality and now look more like historical photographs, which is great! I wonder how they will look at collages? Or perhaps the backdrop for a portraits?

Memories are not trustworthy and I should always remember that, this is all a learning curve

Marie Smith July 23, 2021

Memories are not trustworthy, I should know that by now.

On a recent trip to Seven Sisters, I went back to find this tree and to recreate a moment that is now over two years old, I remembered the location and I even spotted another previous image I had captured back in April 2019.

However, this elusive tree was not what I remembered and had become something else. This tree seemed to be swamped by a rouge bush and looked smaller and not so - glorious. The tree looked smaller and incoherent. At that moment I felt deflated but also silly as of course why wouldn’t the situation had changed, that’s not how nature works. It doesn’t stand still for anyone, it has its own rules and ecosystem that has nothing to do with me and my photographic aspirations.

In fact, I feel that this has been a good lesson for me and what I am trying to do with my research, I am searching for a place to belong, a landscape that feels familiar and that resonates with me. This trip was not a mistake but it was a lesson for me to be more articulate and reflective on what I am trying to do.

I don’t regret going and I now know that I must be more succinct in my working method, in particular in my search for a place to develop a relationship with, inspired by Roni Horn’s Island Zombie and Jamaica Kincaid’s My Book (Garden), both women have created a nuanced and in-depth relationship with their respective locations; Horn (Iceland) and Kincaid (Vermont, USA) and I am searching for this in the UK, trying to think and see beyond London if possible.

The search continues and I am not ruling out staying in London and trying to find somewhere local but I would like to challenge myself and my perception of the home which has to mean, looking beyond London.

Lone tree in East Sussex, original image made in April 2019. ©Marie Smith

The image below shows some go the 120 film negatives from my trip to Seven Sisters, I did manage to capture some images even though I was feeling deflated that day, uninspired, and overwhelmed by the heat. I have started a course at South London Gallery on Wednesday - SLG Skills: Photographic Printmaking course which is about learning sustainable film practices. This course is being run by The Sustainable Darkroom and the workshop was led by Eileen White - we had to bring our own plant-based developer which I made from tomato plant leaves which are being nurtured with care by my partner - Maciej.

My first attempt was not great (example below) but this workshop after one session has been a revelation for me and has made me realise that I was missing an element to my processes. This is something that I will elaborate on further in further posts but I am still processing what I have learnt this week, but this learning curve is improving my confidence - particularly with darkroom processes and I feel that something is definitely changing with my work and I am happy to embrace what comes next.

120 black and white film negatives developed home made plant based developer, this time from home grown Tomato plant tree leaves. This was my first time developing 120, was very happy that the results were success. Images from trip to Seven Sisters and also from a view from my flat in Brixton. ©Marie Smith

First attempt of plant based developer processed during workshop on Wednesday 21st July, some mistakes were made but I am still instruct in seeing the results, especially regarding the damaged frames from the film.

My imaginary garden

Marie Smith July 13, 2021

A few months ago I noticed this independent succulent had started growing separately from the main succulent plant that I had. I had somehow managed to cultivate itself with very little attention paid to it.

After my surprise (and delight) I managed to root the plant in water and planted it again in succulent soil and left it to grow. It is flushing, and I am happy to see that I was able to provide support and nourishment. I have many indoor plants, as a substitute for a lack of garden and also for a lack of knowledge of how to look after a garden. Reading Jamaica Kincaid has taught me how laborious, expire, and all-consuming it is. One day I would like to have a garden but for now, I have my plants.

I have also been thinking about how I can create a link from my previous series into this research, is there a way I can link the two and also reflect on my awareness of environmentalism and nature - establishing what it means to me will hopefully create a context and conversation when I speak to others.

So during an exhibition at Dulwich Picture gallery, I spotted these Sensitive plant seeds and decided to grow my own Sensitive plant (botanical name: Mimosa podica). The seeds were soaked overnight and planted the next day, with lots of light and water, within a week I saw little shoots poking through the soil, quickly and the plant has continued its rapid growth (see examples below, three weeks growth).

Sensitive to the touch, any contact with something other than another branch of the plant such as the touch of a finger causes the plant to retreat and close up as a form of defense. Hence the name Sensitive plant. I try not to do this as I think it must be tormenting for them but I have touched it a few times and it’s fascinating to see how receptive the plant is - it will be a challenge re-potting the plant!

I am excited to see what potential this plant can provide - whether that be a metaphor or become a physical aspect of the work - cyanotypes or straightforward documentary photos of its growth. the plant provides a way to think about my relationship with nature, mental health, and environmentalism.

If I can go on and sustain this plant then perhaps this can become a way to connect with others - as this plant can be rooted again so I can share its abundance with others. So excited to see where I am heading with this research, it feels overwhelming at times but having the potential to explore new ways of working in my practice is really inspiring me.

Sensitive Plant seeds soaking in water for 24 hours before planting

I rooted the plant on several different pots, the pack included 300 seeds, most of them have not grown but I am pleased with what is growing so far.

I will re-pot them once they have grown out of their existing pot. The plants are being grown in Peet free soil. I also collect water from left over glasses of water so that I am not wasting water and trying to be sustainable.

Back to basics

Marie Smith July 2, 2021

I’ve been talking about making work and the process of other people being engaged with their work - whether that be a garden or portraiture. I’ve been exploring ideas from my archives and I’ve also been thinking about alternative ways of working and the possibilities of working with historical photography practices. I have previously worked with Cyanotypes and working in the way always feels like I am going back to basics.

I start by making the chemicals to make the cyanotype which will cover the paper which will need to be stored in the dark before I can use it. As it’s summer this is the best and also the worst time to do it. It takes ages to get dark, well dark enough for me to go to work coating the paper in the photographic mixes - I do this on the floor and on the back of a hard surface as it’s quite a messy process.

Once I have completed this process I make a move to quickly move the paper - in the dark to a cupboard where it will take a day or two for the paper to dry. After those few days, I wait again for it to go dark before I bring it back out and store it in a black lightproof bag.

And then I wait for the sun…. which comes eventually …

In the meantime, I have printed some images onto clear transfer paper which has a plastically feel but would work as a negative to use for the Cyanotypes, but the paper I have prepared is smaller than the prints and the images on the transfer paper are not dark enough. So I spend a good 2-3 hours painting over the lines of the photo with Japanese black ink to create a new image a new negative so the work has evolved even further from its initial point. I now have two sets of negatives but in different evolutionary stages, it seems that I have moved into new terrain for me and I am happy to be finding further potential in analogue photography.

This week we had a bright morning, I woke up blurry-eyed and sensed that I must take the opportunity, luckily I had enough sun for an hour before I started work to get the Cyanotypes done. One hour. Not long but long enough to see if my strategy to re-paint the lines had worked and they did, next time I will need more sun and more time but I am happy it worked. Just need to prepare some paper for next time. I’ve also enjoyed working with my hands and the slowness of it all, I will look to see what comes next and I will certainly be exploring cyanotype photography.

I would also recommend the current exhibition at Dulwich Picture Gallery - Unearthed: Photography’s Roots which provided me with a further impetus to engage with historical photographic methods. I welcomed the opportunity to be back in a gallery again. I particularly enjoyed Anna Atkins and her luminous Cyanotypes from over 100 years ago that document the sea and plant life of Victorian Britain. Next to Atkins, Cecilia Glaisher Albumen print’s fern prints provided a lovely contrast - striking and detailed I felt that both Atkins and Glaisher had made me think about locality and what I could source for my own work. The Photogravures of Karl Blossfeldt’s precise and beautifully executed, timeless quality made me reflect on the permanence of photography.

The resistance of basic is of historical photography.

Here are the negatives which I used to make Cyanotypes, I ended up cutting them again, using the lines created from the college to retain a reference to the original form. A collaboration between modern and historical photo methods

And here are the results, the transfer were not left on for long as the light started to hide behind a cloud, I also think maybe the cyanotype mixture was a bit weak as I didn't use much initially and I was trying to be frugal. More to learn for next time, that’s if the sun returns.

Reflecting on belonging and the gardens of Jamaica Kincaid

Marie Smith June 25, 2021

I’ve been reading about Jamaica Kincaid’s gardens in Vermont. Her book is curated with illustrations and refined sentences about her appreciation and relationship with gardening and the American landscape of Vermont; a northeastern state that borders the Canadian Provence of Quebec and has a distinct Englishness that feels familiar.

Vermont is part of the New England region and is the second least populated state in the US. Before Europeans colonised the US, there was a healthy indigenous population that inhabited the area for 12,000 years. My knowledge of Vermont before reading Kincaid extended to knowing about their Senator - Bernie Sanders, cold weather, and about how white the population is.

So it was a surprise to read about Kincaid; an Antiguan-American writer, essayist, gardener, and gardening writer living amongst the landscape that contrasted from her own upbringing in the Caribbean. I found myself easily absorbed by Kincaid’s writing, it felt like I was having a conversation with her and she has created vivid illustrations of the mountains of Vermont, the extreme weather, and the gardens that she has nurtured whilst living with her (then) husband and two young children.

Jamaica Kincaid is a Black woman who is mostly living in a white space surrounded by the history of England’s colonialism so this element must have felt familiar to her as she grew up in Angugia which only gained its independence in 1981 (the year I was born). However, the island and her memories do appear in the book infrequently and come in and out so it’s not really the focus of the book - the garden and her present existence in Vermont are at the forefront. However, the drastic difference between Antigua and Vermont does provide a point of reflection for me.

Kincaid is obviously passionate about gardening and is dedicated and appreciative of the cycle of nature and the abundance that her garden provides for her. The solace and a purpose for her, but also practical elements are not skimmed over such as the money spent buying new trees and flowers and the battles she faces when her attempts to furnish new life into her gardens don’t go to plan. At one point someone mentions cutting down some trees - this horrifies her and after the incident, she goes around her garden and apologises to the trees individually. You see she cares deeply and this act doesn’t seem absurd in the slightest.

I am only halfway through reading My Garden (Book) so there is still much to process in her writing and also regarding her relationship to nature. Currently, she is living in a house that was owned by the photographer which feels quite fitting! So I have been writing quite a few notes recently and I am working to start interviewing artists/writers/photographers/environmentalists about how nature is integrated into their life and practice.

Kincaid has also prompted me to think about what avenues I want to go down with my own practice. Will be something journalistic, personal, and reflective of the conflicting relationship with a place that has been enriched by the legacy of slavery and colonialism or will I choose to be more direct and address this history and by acknowledging it I can then reframe the narrative that reaffirms my belonging in UK.

I always find non-fiction writing more inspiring sometimes than academic writing, the narrative and the personal are easier to latch onto and I take strength from seeing someone similar to me thinking and processing similar ideas to myself. Makes me feel less alone.

Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021

Coming back to the beginning again

Marie Smith June 18, 2021

It has been a while since I went on a walk around Brockwell park with my camera, not since late winter.

Seeing the park in full bloom made me feel that those initial photos I had taken for my WIP 2021 were from another era, my mood has shifted slightly but I can still feel and even see the echos of myself pacing the park with a couple of cameras around my next, wrapped up and struggling to keep warm.

Now in the full blast of summer, I was back in the lushness of nature and all of the resplendent glory that makes you grateful for nature and the stimulus it provides. I was here with a group from PhotoFusion as part of its Step-Up programme, we initially met at the gallery and walked down together. We were each given an Ilford HP5 Plus - 35mm disposable Film Camera to use. I gave a short introduction to my practice and in particular my exploration of nature in my practice.

I explained to them what I wanted them when they reached the park and encouraged them to capture at a slower pace than they usually would. I even read them some poetry, and it wasn’t so cringing (hopefully). They all seemed eager and keen to get involved, and it was nice to be around people and talk about photography. I was also aware that it had been a while since I had been around people on a photo walk, all memories of previous ventures had been solitary outings which again changed my perspective. I wonder if it could be possible to do a project around photo-walking? Setting a tone of the walk with a poem or thought to reflect upon?

I’ve been writing many thoughts down and the work made that day will be considered as part of my research - the experience provoked me to think about the collective experience of photography outside of my private thoughts and hopefully the group appreciated putting themselves in a different state of mind. It was a sweltering day so it was challenging to not get overwhelmed by the heat but they did well and I was pleasantly surprised with my results.

This experience also made me reflect on the relationship of my WIP 2021 project to this blog, I can make a connection between the two, and one can provide provocations and ways for me to explore certain ideas. Whatever the outcome, the process will still be useful for me to be constantly editing and questioning the decisions I am making.

I will start reflecting more on portraiture as well as this is something that I want to introduce back into the project and I will initiate this with some self-portraits in a few months.

Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.

GRIEF, PLACE, LANDSCAPE – A contradiction of sorts by Marie Smith - reflections on a commission for The Clearing

Marie Smith June 11, 2021

I was recently commissioned by Simon Moreton to write a piece for The Clearing titled Grief, Place, Landscape - A contradictions of sort. The brief was open and it gave me an opportunity to reflect on the contradictions and conflicting feelings that I have about my relationship with nature and the environment.

Personally, I have been trying to counter my carbon footprint and I am trying to be sustainable in the products that I use in my flat. I am slowly trying to transition to become a Vegan, most of my diet is Vegetarian but I am hoping that I can fully transition to Veganism. At some point.

This means that I am developing a deeper and more sincere understanding of the environment, but this is a slight digression from my commission from The Clearing. But back to point at hand…. the piece is written from a position of contradiction and confusion. Here, I was sat in a hotel in Cumbria in early May working on another commission, in an unfamiliar place but I was excited by the prospect of exploring a new location.

I was alone and this was an unfamiliar feeling and context for me to explore a new place. This brought lots of feelings and negging reoccurring fears that come to me when I find myself alone in nature. The threat of violence and the feeling that I would look out of place to some, as a Black woman is a constant whirling loop that goes through my mind. At times my body becomes tens, I put it down to carrying my heavy camera but I think it’s my anxiety turning my body into stone

It’s not the place or landscape that I fear, it’s mostly the people and their attitudes that put me in a position of fear, racism and sexism are daily battles that I face but this is heightened when I am alone and outside of London. I am trying to sit with this feeling and the contradictions that come with my relationship with nature.

All this came out in a flurry and I was glad that I was able to articulate feelings and positions of the current context of my relationship with nature and, specifically with the landscape of England. All of this is feeding into my identity which seems to be shifting and filtering through to my practice.

Many thanks to Simon and The Clearing for providing me with the space to reflect and flesh out my thoughts

Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London

I have been thinking about using myself in my work again. I've forgotten how to take photos of myself

Marie Smith June 4, 2021

I used to make work about my experience and process, regarding my mental health and nature. Over the past year or so I have shifted focus and this had led me to take fewer portraits of myself. To the point that I now feel anxious and awkward being in front of the camera.

In an attempt to shift this awkwardness I made some self-portraits while rising my partner’s family in Mazury/Poland in September 2020. During this visit, I found myself walking with my partner through the forest of Muzury and it was a lovely experience, with no distractions.

No phone reception, which meant that we had no internet, and we rarely came across anyone. We were alone and this nourishing and the stillness was something that I was not familiar with.

One day we went mushroom picking and I found myself wanting to take some self-portraits, playing with the mushrooms - on this occasion, I didn’t feel self-conscious and I enjoyed having something to focus on (mushroom) rather than the performance of being in front of the camera. I gave myself a task, to balance the mushroom on my face to find myself engaging with an element that came from the earth.

As part of my research I feel I need to involve myself in the process more and putting myself in front of the camera would be beneficial in working out what methodologies would work the best, the idea is to work with people of colour but I feel I need to be more specific and nuanced in my approach.

I’m also not dismissing the idea that I could make a series about myself again, touching on my relationship with nature and perhaps less of a focus on trauma/mental health which has been part of my previous work.

More wellbeing perhaps?

My next step is to make a list of artists/writers/organisations that I could interview which will help and also to do more research on photographers, women, and particularly with a focus on performance within nature or incorporating nature.

A good starting point is An Mendieta’s 1970’s series Silueta and her practice of ‘Earth Art’.

I've been looking through my archive

Marie Smith May 21, 2021

I’ve clearly been interested in the relationship between nature and how we treat it within city environments, looking back through my archive and specifically through the series Unfamiliar/Familiar the most prevalent topic of exploration in nature.

Before I thought it was something else but looking at the images I made over a period of 3-4 years I was seeking something else that now seems very clear to me. I suppose that’s the power of hindsight. Taking a moment to reflect and to really find the starting point of the project will help navigate what I do from this point onwards.

The images in this post were captured in London and New York from 2016-2019, and I was preoccupied with how nature is treated as an addition or a supplement to the landscape, rarely given space or time to fully find its place. However, nature is neither of those things and actually pre-dates our (humans) existence and that is something that we forget and take for granted.

Hence, why we have the climate crisis, a situation of humans’ selfish desire to conquer for our purposes. The industrialisation of the Western city’s across the UK from the 19th century onwards changed our relationship to nature and how we see it as part of our lives.

When we see nature treaded as an inconvenience or something we have to work around it shows a contradiction, we need nature as a form of sustenance but we can also see it nearly as an object to bend to our will and need. That’s is something that resonates with me as a Black woman who was born and living in London.

My mother’s relationship with nature was very different from mine and this is also something that I have reflected upon, as she grew up in rural Jamaica she was borough up in a rich landscape with a rooted sense of where it was from. She was also brought up with and around the legacy of slavery and colonialism by the British. I grew up surrounded by the foundation that was built upon the enslavement of my ancestors. So now I am trying to negotiate how I situate myself within this landscape of London, and the rest of the UK.

Perhaps this is what the project is about and has been about all along.

First, I must establish what I believe nature to be within the context of my experience. And then I can use the tools to understand how other communities of colour negotiate their relationship with the landscape of London and the rest of the UK. I will have to specs more time exploring, reflecting, and making sure I am asking myself the right questions

Fallen tree - Brooklyn - Red Hook - edited.jpg

Tree near Whitney - Manhattan - edited.jpg

Shifting focus

Marie Smith May 14, 2021

After an intense interview for a Ph.D., I have been thinking about the questions that have been posed to me and the context of my nature. I have a habit of doing too much and trying g to get different strings of ideas together to create something new. This means that my research can be sporadic and chaotic which is not something I ever thought I was.

However this makes sense as someone with the neurodiverse community (I am Dyspraxic) I sometimes find it hard to focus and compartmentalise my ideas, this is something that I’d like to focus on and I believe the DYCP grant will help me do this.

So, what to decide now? It seems I have two avenues to pursue, one is nature and mental health and the impact that eco-anxiety has on communities of colour. With fragmented patches of land/parks which are in the control of local councils, some park has been closed to local communities or in disrepair.

Another pathway is nature and belonging, exploring what is nature and how can we access this with so few opportunities due to money or having no access to a car/train. Feeling overwhelmed by lack of equipment of ideas that nature and English landscape is inherently hostile.

I also feel that I have perhaps not been thinking about what exactly I am going to visualise my research, will it be in the form of photographs? Of people or places? Or will be films or interviews? How do I see myself working in analogue or digital?

I will be looking into making my practice moire sustainable and have bookmarked some courses that I would like to go to, being able to invest in my practice will help me feel more confident and I hope to refine my thought processes more. I’ve also booked a spot to visit Stuart Hall Library which excites me, it’s been a while and I miss the quiet and contemplation that a library offers.

I will also aim to do a post at least once a week over the new few months. This will also help me focus and force me to verbalise my process to myself and also to you.

An introduction to my research into environmentalism

Marie Smith May 8, 2021

This blog will be a space for me to reflect on my research as well as document who I am talking to, what I am reading, and who I am making images of - whether that be people or places. I will be engaging with a myriad of methods to inform myself and my practice.

In April 2021, I was awarded a Developing your Creative Practice (DYCP) grant to research the impact of environmentalism on people of colour, a subject that is new to me but is something that I have been wishing to investigate in my practice. As a Black woman living in a polluted city, I know that I and other communities of colour will be disproportionately affected by climate change and pollution.

I will spend the next six months researching and engaging with this topic and seeing how nature and environmentalism can be engaging people from communities of colour. I want to find people in my local community of Brixton, South London to see how they think and feel about climate change.

As a Visual Artist whose primary medium is analogue photography, I believe that I must take responsibility for finding more sustainable ways in my practice. Again, this will help me renew and engage with methods that can be utilised to make my practice more creative as well as cost-saving whilst trying to minimalise my impact on the environment.

I will be using my experience with project managing Whispering for help to network with communities in Brixton and beyond. I have found a plethora of resources on social media and it has been great to see people of colour working to decolonise nature and environmentalism. I will be going to practical workshops and will find ways to make environmentalism engaging and relevant to people of colour.

I suspect I will make mistakes and will find the prospect daunting at times but I am ready to begin a new chapter and to find a way to communicate the importance of climate change and environmentalism, this subject is beyond urgent for me and for people from my community.

I want to go back to my initial post and the questions that I posed myself which was the aim of my research and the purpose of this blog:

I will spend the next six months researching and engaging with this topic and seeing how nature and environmentalism can be engaging people from communities of colour. I want to find people in my local community of Brixton, South London to see how they think and feel about climate change.

On reflection, I think that I have been able to stick to the main aims and objectives of my initial blog but I have seen myself shift and starting to absorb and be more considerate to what I was trying to do with my practice and research goals.

I have made a new series of work, titled The Wanderer, a body of work that consolidates all of my research ideas and poses a new aesthetic that will be explored further in the workshops and residency.

Although I was initially shocked (and embarrassed) that I didn’t know actually thought about destroying these cyanotypes which on reflection would not have changed anything and only added to the horror and rage that I felt about learning this information.

Writing this I am taken back to Jamaica Kincaid and her writings about the legacy of slavery and colonialism in Antigua.

From now on, I intend to engage with cyanotype with more intention and understanding of its history and the implications it has on my practice. The Artist Tom Pope has done a lot of research into Atkin’s and her cyanotypes practice - very illuminating and provides a lot of contexts.

After going to one of their workshops, I felt a sense of community and calmness that I had been seeking lacked in particular around the conversation about climate change and nature. The concept of healing and healing within nature is something that I talked about with Myah Jeffers.

This felt better! This portrait session felt like it had a purpose and I was more connected to the surroundings, I was present in my body and I took my time.

In Sarah Jane Cervenak’s book, Wandering, the last chapter focuses on Weems series Roaming which was made in Rome/Italy in 2006. Cervenak’s notes Weems motivations behind the series:

Like, Weems, I was trying to navigate a sense of openness and power/empowering myself to feel freedom, and belonging, and resist the narrative that means that I cannot have agency over a place that I have known my whole life.

Weems goes on to identify the roaming woman in the series:

Footnotes:

Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163

Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163

I boiled some corn on the cob husks yesterday, to use as a developer, a very new experience and I will try it with one roll of film to see how it goes, apparently, sweetcorn has a high phenol count but we’ll have to wait and see if that translate well as a developer.

The conversations I have been having with myself and now with other artists have been illuminating, forcing me to change my biases and the binaries that have framed my understanding of nature and my perception of what is nature.

Questions around belonging and community have been a preoccupation of mine and wanting to seek other artists that have similar concerns and cross-overs in their practice have made me feel more connected. Last week I had the pleasure of speaking to photographer and director Myah Jeffers.

Myah is Barbadian-British, London-based documentary, dramaturg, and portrait photographer. Myah' primarily documents the experiences of Queer and intergenerational, Black and diaspora communities. All of Myah’s work is made on analogue film - medium format.

This is something I should try to engage with more, the land and the elements of the ecology of where I am. What is my spiritual connection to the land? How can I forge that connection rather than forcing it? Do I need to be taking photographs at every opportunity, probably not if I am honest?

Myah’s main research was bell hook’s sister of the yam, Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved and conversations with other Black women. This included having conversations and doing workshops in Epping Forest which became part of the process for the project There is No healing in Silence.

It was also lovely to end the conversation sharing the names of some of the artist artists/filmmakers and photographers that we both like, such as Adama Jolloh, Gordon Parks, Roy DeCarava, Khalik Allah, Kahlil Joseph, and Zanele Muholi was amongst the many that Myah referenced.

I need to heal.

In early August, I went on a walking trip with Ameena Rojee and Aster Reem David. I had known Aster for a couple of years since she participated in my project Whispering for help.

Since, then we have cultivated a strong friendship, supportive and reciprocal as we navigate the world as two photographers and women of colour with an interest in nature and ecology in our practice.

This felt strange thinking about it but this was the first time I had met Ameena, we had been speaking for a few months via email. This had then been extended to a WhatsApp group between the three of us, which then moved online, and finally, we met in person.

Meeting Ameena felt very normal, it was not strange at all and the three of us resonated well. Ameena and Aster do have more energy than me and I think I was the quietest of the three of us.

As three photographers we were not offended when one of us strolled off in mid-conversation to capture an image and we also acted as models for each other, the weather was a bit dreary but this did not stop us from making the most of the situation and it was an enjoyable walk.

The walking paths were sometimes hard to negotiate and we were prohibited from entering certain spaces or given a warning if we came across a precarious path.

Once I have read this book I will be reflecting on this more, as knowing this information now, I cannot ignore it and the implications it has on my relationship with the landscape of the UK.

Having Aster and Ameena with me did provide me with some solace - a way to feel connected to a community also I didn’t feel scared or anxious as I knew they would not leave me and we were conscious of how we negotiated the landscape as a group and as individuals.

I felt safe.

The pandemic meant that there has been no opportunity to go away abroad, although I am double vaccinated I am aware of the many variants developing and I still believe that precautions need to be taken until the majority of the world is fully vaccinated.

The camping in Bodiam was very different and also much less about me being a photographer with a camera and more about me being on holiday, although this didn’t stop me from bringing two cameras and lots of colour and black and white film.

Being at Prospect Cottage and seeing the care and attention that Jarmen had taken into cultivating his home led me to think again about Jamaica Kincaid’s garden in Vermont, with gardens there is a philosophy and intention behind them that is meant to be communicated to you.

This never occurred to me until recently. It’s weird! Just how you can overlook so much.

There is no distinction.

So this trip was very different from Chilworth, I felt more of an internal conversation happening, more threads have been coming together and the different experiences have shown more light onto what I have still to learn and grapple with.

I am not sure where my practice is heading and I am trying not to get caught up with that yet, being present in the moment is more important and is providing me with lots of consideration.

Last week, I interviewed Season Butler over Zoom, Season is one of five artists that I’ll be talking to over the next few months. Next week I will be in conversation with Myah Jeffers.

I also have interviews lined up interviews with Yan Wang Preston and Zoe Palmer from the dream(ing) field lab.

Safety is a concern and for some communities, being in open green spaces might not feel safe or welcoming, this does vary in the context but this can affect your feeling of being from the land and having a relationship with the land.

On reflection with my conversation with Season, this cyanotype was made from plants, flowers found in South London Gallery garden, a wonderful juxtaposition between concrete and nature growth around through and in relation to the concrete rather than against it.

So, my local lab at Photofusion suggested that I rent their highly powerful and accurate Imacon scanner, which I did and it was good to use it, was not difficult and I was also to obtain 20 images from a roll of 35 images, not bad!