What's next?

Marie Smith January 10, 2022

I want to go back to my initial post and the questions that I posed myself which was the aim of my research and the purpose of this blog:

I will spend the next six months researching and engaging with this topic and seeing how nature and environmentalism can be engaging people from communities of colour. I want to find people in my local community of Brixton, South London to see how they think and feel about climate change.

On reflection, I think that I have been able to stick to the main aims and objectives of my initial blog but I have seen myself shift and starting to absorb and be more considerate to what I was trying to do with my practice and research goals.

I was a bit ambitious, especially regarding the community engagement element, this is only something that I am beginning to shape and I am working on a series of workshops that I will be initiating this summer. I will also be embarking on a residency - New Forest National Park Artist in Residence with an organisation called SPUD Works, this residency will culminate with an exhibition in October 2022.

I have found that my practice and my ideas and responsibilities have shifted immensely and I don’t see myself going back to how I used to work. I won’t be working in colour photography anymore (as not part of ‘my work’) as the cost and environmental factors mean that this is not a sustainable way for me to work. I also have more autonomy developing, scanning, and making work at home in my own darkroom and I have found that I have been resourceful with the work that I am making. I definitely feel comfortable and certain of myself with the avenue that I wish to take my practice.

Image taken from the series, The Wanderer, December 2021, ©Marie Smith

I have made a new series of work, titled The Wanderer, a body of work that consolidates all of my research ideas and poses a new aesthetic that will be explored further in the workshops and residency.

I am now able to answer and provide more context to what I was initially interested in researching and will be looking to make the process of my work as engaging and collaborative, I will be using my working methodology from Whispering for help to aid the work and residency as I believe that I have developed some good transferable skills that I would like to expand upon. I will be working on my project proposal and identifying the demographics that I wish to work with.

I now have a better understanding of terms such as nature, sustainability, and climate change and how it applies to my work, therefore I can now start implementing those terms into my practice. I am excited and also feel buoyant about what is coming next for me and my practice. My focus has shifted and I am grateful that I was given the opportunity and funding to explore a new area that seemed very abstract to me until now.

Wandering, Roaming and collaborating with nature

Marie Smith October 3, 2021

This felt better! This portrait session felt like it had a purpose and I was more connected to the surroundings, I was present in my body and I took my time.

Having a uniform - a long black coat over a long black dress with sturdy black rubber boots helped recreate a character and I felt less self-conscious and more like I was performing a version of myself but was not far removed from who I am. I was thinking of Carrie Mae Weems series Roaming (2006) whilst making these self-portraits, where I was the photographer and the subject.

The images of me looking back at the camera whilst taking my portrait was me acknowledging the duality of my role and the agency I had given myself. The context was mine to navigate and explore. I enjoyed the role, although it was cumbersome to set up the camera/tripod in different locations at one point the heavens opened and it poured down with rain. I had to hide under a tree for 10 minutes with a raincoat and umbrella as protection. Although the tree, given to me by Mother Nature was my main savior.

I emerged afterward under a blue sky that gave me permission to continue, I then found a point of reference, a long elegant tree stump that seemed dead but was very much alive and rooted in its locality. I have been obsessively photographing this tree for a year now. I decided to formally introduce myself to this tree by taking my portrait next to it, my companion and collaborator. Not an object upon me to project my subjective opinions upon bit a feature in the landscape that accompanied me every time I was in Brockwell Park. Equally, I was aware that I functioning now in multiple guises, this character was me, I mean is me but also is an extension of the multifaceted identity that Black women have.

In Sarah Jane Cervenak’s book, Wandering, the last chapter focuses on Weems series Roaming which was made in Rome/Italy in 2006. Cervenak’s notes Weems motivations behind the series:

‘Weems’s interest in architecture and power motivates the Roaming series. But, at the same time, an openness to the sublime moves alongside these secularized meditations. This openness, which arguably could be tied to Weems’s understanding of self as a “woman who yearns”, and as someone who needs a mental break, enlarges the roaming at work in the series. Indeed, given the interplay between scenes of walking and crawling, staring and stillness, Weems’s Roaming suggests powerful movement beyond the physical. A domain constituted by phantasmatic wanderings into a world just beyond this one. A kind of movement that might just provide that light and the break she is waiting for’. (1)

Like, Weems, I was trying to navigate a sense of openness and power/empowering myself to feel freedom, and belonging, and resist the narrative that means that I cannot have agency over a place that I have known my whole life.

I too, yearn to have a sense of peace and healing in nature, that’s why I felt like this portrait felt like a collaboration, for the first time, I felt calm and aware of what I was doing. Walking/roaming both have the same intentions for me, the outcome might differ but the intention comes from the same place.

Weems goes on to identify the roaming woman in the series:

‘I call her my muse- but it’s safe to say that she’s more than one thing. She’s an alter-ego. My alter-ego, yes …this woman can stand in for me and for you; she can stand in for the audience, she leads you into history. She’s a witness and a guide…. She’s shown me a great deal about the world and about myself, and I’m grateful to her. Carrying a tremendous burden, she is a black woman leading me through the trauma of history. I think it’s very important that as a black woman, she’s engaged with the world around her; she’s engaged with history, she’s engaged with looking with being. She’s a guide into circumstances seldom seen'. (2)

Footnotes:

Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163
Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163

A revelation of sorts

Marie Smith September 26, 2021

My last blog was a revelation, or actually, a form of clarity that came to me that I had been failing to articulate. The lack of being able to articulate the problem or the next stage of the process had been making me feel lackluster and confused. So writing my blog about Yan Wang Preston’s work was a great initiative and also enabled me to formulate where I wished to see my process heading.

I must also remember that my process does not necessarily need to end in a resulting ‘product’, although I am still making collages and sequences as part of my WIP series, they are themselves a reflection of my process/product adding to the conversation and it is good to see my gaze shifting and becoming more attuned.

There are elements of the series Whispering for help, that can translate to any future projects I do, in particular, if I do choose to work with communities of colour or if I seek to work with specific individuals. Again, I am shifting my focus to providing and not concentrating on the process which only signifies for me the unnecessary pressure I am putting on myself to create something coherent to show people.

I have been viewing nature as an objective space, whereas really it’s more subjective, in particular, if I am trying to ascertain my relationship with it. This means that it cannot be objective and also this means that I have been projecting what I want and what I anticipate rather than seeing and experiencing the landscape for what it is.

The separation between myself, and using my camera as a tool of experience means that I have not been negotiating my relationship with the space beyond seeing the place ‘for me to explore or to assert’ my sense of belonging’ rather than a participant. That’s the essence of the relationship. That is what I have been missing and failing to translate. This means that I can be very intentional now and also think about how I can apply sustainable darkroom practices that are specific to my relationship with the participant.

I am glad that this revelation has come to me now, and I feel a sense of ease and weight being lifted as I now have the language to move my processes onto the next stage of development. Also, perhaps I can now go on making more photos which more intention knowing that I have a framing. I can now think about how or if I want to implement text in the work in some ways.

I boiled some corn on the cob husks yesterday, to use as a developer, a very new experience and I will try it with one roll of film to see how it goes, apparently, sweetcorn has a high phenol count but we’ll have to wait and see if that translate well as a developer.

WIP Sequence, Self-portrait with a landscape from council estate I live on in London, September 2021, ©Marie Smith

Interview with Yan Wang Preston - Who are we, we are nature?

Marie Smith September 24, 2021

Speaking to Yan Wang Preston provided another space for me to pivot into. One that was unfamiliar to me as Yan’s work focuses on the landscape of China and its multifaceted identity that is usually seen in a very binary context when thinking about how China is presented in the mainstream media. Dr. Yan Wang Preston moved to the UK from China in 2005 after completing her training in Clinical Medicine at Fudan University, Shanghai, China. Upon moving to the UK, Yan took up photography and in 2018 she completed her practice-based Ph.D. at the University of Plymouth under the supervision of Liz Wells and Jem Southam.

I was very intrigued by Yan’s methodical and precise style, her landscape photographs were not just aesthetic but move the landscape away from being an objective space to a subjective ream for me to consider it as a place beyond and separate from myself. After asking my first question, Yan asked or more so posed) questions to me from a poem, ‘Who are we, we are nature’?

This question was not completely removed from what Season Butler said to me about thinking beyond nature being the physical context of ‘naturalistic’ and trying to encompass everything as a form of nature. Yan’s question was to provoke me to think about my physicality and body in relation to nature. Beyond my behavior in the context of climate change, I try to be responsible as much as I can, but do I see myself as something that is natural?

Yan’s practice and outlook are informed by Chines philosophy, that we as humans are part of the world and that there are multiple microworlds that are visible and invisible to us but we are all connected. This thinking goes against a capitalist mindset, for me as it means that nature is not seen as an object to exploit and subjugate for our own uses.

From researching her series Mother River, I noted that she had added maps and GPS altitudes, in an attempt for others to go and experience the landscape for themselves and in my opinion to ensure that the landscape is not just seen as an objective space devoid of history and nuance. On reflection, I did ask Yan about community and the about other things but I think the most profound thing that I resonate with me with my own research is her philosophy and outlook towards her work.

The slowness of the analog process that she is being considerate and her academic background means that the level of research means that she is engaged in finding answers to existing problems and finding ways to provide an alternative or a way for us the think about our agency and the hierarchical structures that means that we have a limited viewpoint of nature.

Photos from inside a tree leaves in Brockwell Park, shot using Ilford HP5 Plus 400 film and developed at home using chemicals

Realising this means that I must again be more conscious of my own gaze and the limitations I have been placing on myself and my practice, I am aware of my body in these spaces but I am not really present, distracted mostly by having my camera with me, this tool creates another lens to see the world in without me considering what it is I am looking for?

The two photos featured in my blog are spaces that I go to often, the repeated steps that I take are familiar and ensure that I feel safe and I have never thought about mapping out my steps or sharing the walks that I take so that they could perhaps become a point of conversation. I was also thinking that this would be a way for me to find that connection to the space beyond the objective perspective I have been taking so far.

I need to be conscious of what I am doing, recently I feel I have been wondering in a daze and I feel a bit stuck and unable to articulate what I want to achieve, perhaps I have moved too far away from the initial remit of what I had proposed but perhaps this diversion will create more clarity for me. I am quite focused on the process at the moment but I am aware that at the end of this I would like to have some sort of an idea of what the ‘product’ could be.

My gaze has not shifted yet and I was glad that this interview acted as a type of intervention to my own philosophy and provided me with another nuanced perspective that I need to think about. I will be taking a break from shooting, and will probably pick it up in a few months once I have consolidated my thoughts a bit more.

Interview with Myah Jeffers - community, healing and connecting with body and ancestry

Marie Smith August 28, 2021

The conversations I have been having with myself and now with other artists have been illuminating, forcing me to change my biases and the binaries that have framed my understanding of nature and my perception of what is nature.

Questions around belonging and community have been a preoccupation of mine and wanting to seek other artists that have similar concerns and cross-overs in their practice have made me feel more connected. Last week I had the pleasure of speaking to photographer and director Myah Jeffers.

Myah is Barbadian-British, London-based documentary, dramaturg, and portrait photographer. Myah' primarily documents the experiences of Queer and intergenerational, Black and diaspora communities. All of Myah’s work is made on analogue film - medium format.

I had been following Myah’s work for a while and I felt a kinship with her work not only as an analogue photographer but as an artist whose work focuses on mental health, community, nature, and healing. So, I was super glad to spend an hour talking to her and sharing mutual reading materials and experiences.

Self portrait made in Dungeness - Kent, juxtaposed with a tree in Bodiam - East Sussex, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

With every interview I start off by asking the same two questions, to introduce themselves and to talk about their relationship and research about nature/ecology and environmentalism. The first question might sound silly, but by having the artist introduce themselves in their own words then perhaps they can illuminate themselves further.

With the second question, I already am aware that they have a relationship with nature from researching their work but again, for me, it’s about finding out the nuances and preoccupation with that artist that set the tone for the interview. I also answer these two questions which provides them (in this case Myah) with a further understanding of who I am and what I am seeking to ascertain from our conversation.

Myah’s relationship to nature is a space that can she connect to her body and her ancestry and to have a deeper understanding of community. Nature is a place of healing and is a place with herself but this relationship is constantly evolving. Myah moved to the UK from Barbados when she was 16 years old and this dual experience of the UK and Barbados has shaped her perception. Myah’s practice and research are rooted in reading and she mentioned two books by bell hooks - all about love and sisters of the yam which have provided her with solace and also enabled her to re-position herself with the landscape and also with her own process of healing.

We talked a lot about healing and trying to connect with the physical land, and how the Black diaspora lost their connection to agriculture which has led to the mind-body split due to a loss of engagement with nature and agricultural practices, this is exacerbated by diaspora communities living and working in cities.

Last summer was very emotional for many and in particular regarding the inaction and ambivalence from institutions regarding the BLM movement, not to mention the pandemic - this past year has been very draining and a struggle to reconcile. Myah mentioned lying down in Hackney Marshes soaking up the air and forging a spiritual connection with the earth. These experiences provided her with a prompt that evolved into the series There is No healing in Silence. This piece was made in Epping Forest and provided an opportunity to forge intergenerational discourse, the feeling of touch, and spiritual connection.

This is something I should try to engage with more, the land and the elements of the ecology of where I am. What is my spiritual connection to the land? How can I forge that connection rather than forcing it? Do I need to be taking photographs at every opportunity, probably not if I am honest?

Recently, I’ve developed a habit of carrying my camera with me everywhere, always looking to find an opportunity to document what I am seeing as though this will be enough to know how I feel about a place. I have lost the habit of walking, sitting, and being in the present moment with myself and where I am. I feel this is partly to do with a disconnection I feel with London at the moment and also because I have made more concerted efforts to explore other places outside of London.

Nevertheless, this act of sitting and being at one with the land reminded me that having this experience is just as important as making photographs. The discourse around ecology and climate change is not limited. A valid point that Myah made was that perhaps Black and diaspora communities do not think or use the same language as those in mainstream media in Western society but the concerns and considerations still exist.

Barbados is known as ‘Little England’ and the legacy of colonialism permeates the landscape. Myah reflected on how tourism and capitalism are shaping and fragmenting the natural landscape of the island. The beauty that remains is becoming commodified with places such as Harrison’s Cave. This cave is primarily populated by American and British tourists. The invisible and visible distinctions within the landscape play a part in the segregation of the communities. Myah mentioned tapping into memories of Barbados when she feels the need to retrieve a place that is comforting for her.

Agency, is a word that is instrumental in both my and Myah’s practice and is something that is always at the forefront of the work that we make. We spoke about what this means to us and our practice and how photography has created a space for us to find an agency. For Myah, the agency is a way for her to ensure that she can contribute to collective healing and to the community of resistance. Thus, allowing Black and diaspora communities to have the autonomy to be safe with themselves, with each other, and with the land.

Myah also reflected on her experience with her commission from where I am standing with the Empathy Museum and working with front line NHS workers - how a camera is a tool and the most important part of the process is the connection you have with the people. To create an authentic connection is to rescind some control in order that the people you are documenting are at the center of the process. So trust, which comes with constant dialogue with the participants is we talked about trust and how this can impact the final portrait if the trust is not there.

Community is at the heart of her practice, and Myah has definition of a community is based on bell hook’s definition; Community is a space where Black people can exist without fear, paranoia, or oppression. An imperative part of Myah’s work is to document Black communities and how conversations, through talking and through photography can aid the healing process. By seeing ourselves, in spaces, we are able to connect on a spiritual level. Myah is also seeking to contribute to the archive and the experience of Black Diaspora communities. In particular intergenerational dynamics and conversations can prompt further conversations within themselves.

Myah also talked about her gaze and how this is affected by commercial and personal work, and how it has shifted. She is aware of the implication this has on her practice, in particular when she goes back to make work in Barbados. Having lived in the UK now for several years and having access to film cameras, in particular medium format cameras, Myah is having to navigate the implications this has on her practice.

Mental health and wellbeing are at the forefront of my practice and I instantly felt this connection with Myah’s work so I felt that it was important for me to discuss this topic with her. I asked Myah about her research and how as Black people we are holding trauma and how we can find the tools to release the trauma that has manifested in their bodies.

Myah’s main research was bell hook’s sister of the yam, Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved and conversations with other Black women. This included having conversations and doing workshops in Epping Forest which became part of the process for the project There is No healing in Silence.

Also, it was great to know that I was not the only person that found fiction a relevant and important part of the research. Personally, fiction in particular writers from Black and diaspora communities holds an element of historical truth that is just as important and informed as academic writing. For Myah, fiction creates an important moment for Black and diaspora communities to contextualise their experience, this is informed by how we are treated in society. Fiction by Black writers centers our being and existence and fiction can create moments that she can reference and respond to, words are portraits.

As an analogue photographer, I was interested in Myah’s perspective on the process of working solely with film and how the has impacted her gaze and the type of work that she makes - personally and commercially. Myah made the switch to making work in analogue a year ago after she found herself uninspired by the digital process as it not allowing her to slow down her process.

The process with medium format film is more intentional but she is making the move to 35mm and it will be interesting to see how having a smaller camera will impact her practice. Medium format photography provides Myah with space and time to really interrogate her intentions, to look closely, and to ensure that she is capturing the nuances of her sitter. By utilising traditional portraiture photography as part of her practice, Myah is subverting the historical narrative about how Black people have been documented.

It was also lovely to end the conversation sharing the names of some of the artist artists/filmmakers and photographers that we both like, such as Adama Jolloh, Gordon Parks, Roy DeCarava, Khalik Allah, Kahlil Joseph, and Zanele Muholi was amongst the many that Myah referenced.

Self portrait collage, Black and white, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

My conversation with Myah was very illuminating, the process of speaking to different artists has pushed to think about what I am doing with my research and what I am learning. I felt a string kinship with so much of what she said and she has reminded me that I need to take some more time, healing and dealing with trauma.

I thought I had processed this, but my recent social anxiety and living in London have triggered some underlying concerns that I felt that I had resolved. I also think that I need to spend more time, funny enough away from my camera and more time with looking and allowing myself to have a direct engagement with the land. So the next walk I go on I won’t bring my camera. I need to sit with my thoughts and feeling and notice what is resonating with me.

At the end of the research I hope to engage with Black and diaspora community to create a piece of work but I feel that before I can do that I have more work to do on myself and my understanding of nature and my relation ship with the land. I need to look more and make concerted efforts to be more honest with myself.

I need to heal.

I’m aware that I carry a lot of tension and I thought the act of photography would be a relief and to extend it does but it’s not the best way of dealing with every situation. I’m sure as I go back and listen to my conversation with Myah that there will be more for me to engage and reflect upon.

Self portrait collage, Colour, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

Reflecting on community

Marie Smith August 21, 2021

After a year and a half of lockdowns due to the pandemic, which involved not being around anyone (except my partner) for a long period of time; I have had two trips recently, with two different friendship groups. One is an old friend of over 10 years and the other is a more recent friendship that has to fruition over the past two years or so.

In early August, I went on a walking trip with Ameena Rojee and Aster Reem David. I had known Aster for a couple of years since she participated in my project Whispering for help.

Since, then we have cultivated a strong friendship, supportive and reciprocal as we navigate the world as two photographers and women of colour with an interest in nature and ecology in our practice.

This felt strange thinking about it but this was the first time I had met Ameena, we had been speaking for a few months via email. This had then been extended to a WhatsApp group between the three of us, which then moved online, and finally, we met in person.

Meeting Ameena felt very normal, it was not strange at all and the three of us resonated well. Ameena and Aster do have more energy than me and I think I was the quietest of the three of us.

We met at Chilworth station which was accessible to all of us via train and car, we set off for a walk around the Gunpowder Mills that once resided in the area. A once thriving community that provided ammunition for the UK has now been left bare but with elements of the structured, gaps for us to project our own narratives and preconceived ideas about the residents and their existence.

As three photographers we were not offended when one of us strolled off in mid-conversation to capture an image and we also acted as models for each other, the weather was a bit dreary but this did not stop us from making the most of the situation and it was an enjoyable walk.

I was surprised by the variety of the location that we came across in Chilworth, deep forest, green ferns, sandy walking paths, and a church at the top of a massive hill that seemed quaint. I did not expect this from a place only an hour outside of London but this is a testament to the variety that the UK has.

The walking paths were sometimes hard to negotiate and we were prohibited from entering certain spaces or given a warning if we came across a precarious path.

Access to land in the UK is not spoken about much, although we are under the impression that there is plenty of space for us to explore, realistically most of it is fenced off and used for farmland or private property. I recently bought a book by Guy Shrubsole which addresses the history of land ownership and how we - the 99% who don’t own land can reclaim agency over these segregated areas.

Once I have read this book I will be reflecting on this more, as knowing this information now, I cannot ignore it and the implications it has on my relationship with the landscape of the UK.

One thing that was different for me, not just being in a group but also being around other people of colour in a non-city environment. This might have looked unusual to some and I did clock some people looking at us longer than usual or adjusting their body language when we walked towards them. I did wonder what the difference would have been if we were white or if we didn’t have our cameras.

Having Aster and Ameena with me did provide me with some solace - a way to feel connected to a community also I didn’t feel scared or anxious as I knew they would not leave me and we were conscious of how we negotiated the landscape as a group and as individuals.

I felt safe.

The next challenge for me is to do a walk like this by myself, again. I spoke about my relationship with nature in an earlier blog in which I documented work and I am making work around this subject as part of West Coast Photo Festival. This experience was positive and I will be working towards building up my confidence to do a photo walk by myself.

One thing that I think I need to consider is how my body and spirit are connected with the landscape. Having a camera is actually very distracting and you can lose that tangled connection to the land as your brain is engaging in other activities. I also think that it would be worth me addressing some anxieties around safety and my consciousness of what I want and what I need to work towards, not just within my practice but within myself.

Self portrait made in Dungeness, developed at home with plant based materials, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

A few weeks later I went on another trip, again not far from London to a place in East Sussex called Bodiam which is close to Hasting. I went camping with my partner Maciej and two of my friends and another couple Laura and Reuben. I had known Laura for over ten years and Reuben for six years. This was my first time camping since my friend’s 30th birthday which was seven years ago.

The pandemic meant that there has been no opportunity to go away abroad, although I am double vaccinated I am aware of the many variants developing and I still believe that precautions need to be taken until the majority of the world is fully vaccinated.

The camping in Bodiam was very different and also much less about me being a photographer with a camera and more about me being on holiday, although this didn’t stop me from bringing two cameras and lots of colour and black and white film.

The weather was atrocious so we didn’t actually spend much time in Bodiam which was a shame but as Reuben and Laura had a car we went on explorations not far - to Dungeness, Camber Sands, and Bexhill-On-Sea. The coastal locations were varied and also provided different experiences, blaring sunshine in Dungeness and Bexhill but the hostility of wind bound all of the locations together.

Visiting Dungeness was a highlight as we went to Dereck Jarmen’s home - Prospect Cottage. Dungeness is like no other place I had been to before in the UK, it was sublime and very strange. The landscape was rocky, with no tall buildings, trees, or soil. Boats littered the landscape and you would find plant life in abundance flourishing under the rocky surface, it was truly stunning to see plant life thriving in a location that looked bleak. Everyone lived in fisherman-style cottages, some fancier than others.

The nuclear power station was an ominous presence and one of the tallest buildings around, we spotted a few lighthouses and walked towards them, not getting any closer and being beaten down by the constant wind we changed tracks and walked further down the road before stopping for lunch where we rested. It was not cold and despite the wind, the sun felt warm and we all left with a slight glow from our walk.

Being at Prospect Cottage and seeing the care and attention that Jarmen had taken into cultivating his home led me to think again about Jamaica Kincaid’s garden in Vermont, with gardens there is a philosophy and intention behind them that is meant to be communicated to you.

This never occurred to me until recently. It’s weird! Just how you can overlook so much.

Jarmen’s garden consisted of circular congregations of plants and perennials - hardy plant life that could withstand the weather during the changing season. The smell and colours were a triumph and he also intertwined bits of metals and iron into sculptures that intertwined with the plant life and were not in tension with it.

Being here made me think about my interview with Season Butler and her talking about what we consider to be ‘nature’ ‘not nature’ and that Jarmen’s garden was a perfect symphony of this juxtaposition, Jarmen had made a deliberate attempt, not to this distinction and walking around the garden you would never think the corroded iron sculptures looked out of place, in fact, they added vibrancy and colour. Burnt red, orange, and deep browns remind me these materials are a part of nature.

There is no distinction.

I recently started to read Modern Nature a diary that Jarmen wrote whilst living and finessing Prospect Cottage over the course of two years after his diagnosis with HIV in the late 1980s. Like Kincaid, Jarmen reflects on his childhood and his introduction ton to plant life and nature and how this has impacted how he views his home and garden at Prospect Cottage.

The personal account also provides me with more insight into his day-to-day grind with the garden and, the various storms and changes of weather that he had to grapple with. Like Kincaid talking about her plant seed trip to China and how her garden would deteriorate in cold winter months in Vermont, I felt that the garden told me a lot about them and about their identities.

So this trip was very different from Chilworth, I felt more of an internal conversation happening, more threads have been coming together and the different experiences have shown more light onto what I have still to learn and grapple with.

I am not sure where my practice is heading and I am trying not to get caught up with that yet, being present in the moment is more important and is providing me with lots of consideration.

Dereck Jarmen’s garden, Prospect Cottage, August 2021 ©Marie Smith

This collage is made from a set of different self portrait’s that were developed at home with plant based developer (Tomato plant leaves).I made a mistake with developing the film but I have decided to embrace the error and work with instead of against the image. Self portraits taken in Derek Jarmen’s garden at Prospect Cottage, Dungeness, ©Marie Smith, August 2021 — This collage is made from a set of different self portrait’s that were developed at home with plant based developer (Tomato plant leaves).
I made a mistake with developing the film but I have decided to embrace the error and work with instead of against the image. Self portraits taken in Derek Jarmen’s garden at Prospect Cottage, Dungeness, ©Marie Smith, August 2021

Again with the plant-based developers, I am making at home, mistakes are still being made and I am finding ways to continue to embrace them and find new ways to communicate the nuances and beauty of nature. I might switch things up and start using my medium format camera, so more depth and also be a case I am able to be a bit more accurate.

Happy accidents can yield surprising results

Marie Smith July 31, 2021

Sometimes accidents can propel you in a whole new direction, one that you did not intend, however it good to also follow through on a process and see what happens. I accidentally messed up the development of my own images during the Plant based developer workshop with Eileen White from Sustainable Darkroom.

I was also unable to use my local lab’s scanner as this would have jammed it as I had cranked the hols of the side of the film when I was winding the film on the developing wheel during the workshop. This meant that the film ended being stuck together and and some area became undefined and under developed. Undeterred I decided to see what I could do with he fit, I also didn’t want to waste the film and consign it to the bin, wondering what if?

So, my local lab at Photofusion suggested that I rent their highly powerful and accurate Imacon scanner, which I did and it was good to use it, was not difficult and I was also to obtain 20 images from a roll of 35 images, not bad!

On inspection at home I decided that it wasn’t worth trying to make the images look accurate and refined, the images were too blurred and I actually liked the fading and distortion that I had created, I added a filter to them - sepia tone which made them look like historical images from 19th century - well not exactly but close enough!

I them printed them off onto reclaimed paper from Photofusion (thank you!) and now I am wondering what to do with them next, I feel I need to keep on with the process and see art can be done, whether that be collages or annotations, writing of some sort. I’ll just play around and see what happens.

Tomorrow I am off for a walk in Chilworth with two friends, both photographers and we ware going to explore the landscape of Surrey! This will be a nice opportunity for me to go for a walk with other women of colour and to also explore a place that is unfamiliar. My aim is to try and capture some portraits of them and of myself, to see what community feels like in this situation and to try and enact some thoughts that have been percolating in my mind of late.

I will them be developing the film and scanning at home myself - I have just bought a flatbed scanner so I am looking to get more agency and autonomy over my working methods, and to save money as well and in the long run it will be better for me.

Images below are scans and prints of the 35mm roll of film from workshop.

I scanned the film using Imacon scanner which I hired from PhotoFusion for a few hours, the process was simple and I concentrated on scanning the images that had a tangible image on it.

It was hard to decipher the septic frames so some images ended up needing onto each other unintentionally or the tress were braced but he fact they were not processed correctly.

First scan and first impression, each frame was different and I had to manage my expectations, although I am intrigued by the process and what could come next, the potential in the image is what is intriguing me.

Managed to recover some space paper from PhotoFusion that would not go through the printer. the paper is high quality and mixture of fine art, semi gloss and gloss paper. I have cut the paper up to A4 size s that I can feed it through my inject printer at home. This also means I can be sustainable in my process, experiment and know that nothing is going to waste and that I have freedom to be playful. — Managed to recover some space paper from PhotoFusion that would not go through the printer. the paper is high quality and mixture of fine art, semi gloss and gloss paper. I have cut the paper up to A4 size s that I can feed it through my inject printer at home.
This also means I can be sustainable in my process, experiment and know that nothing is going to waste and that I have freedom to be playful.

I printed off some of the images, a mixture of contrasts and black and white and the sepia Toine which I changed in Adobe Lightroom, they have a haunting quality and now look more like historical photographs, which is great! I wonder how they will look at collages? Or perhaps the backdrop for a portraits?

Back to basics

Marie Smith July 2, 2021

I’ve been talking about making work and the process of other people being engaged with their work - whether that be a garden or portraiture. I’ve been exploring ideas from my archives and I’ve also been thinking about alternative ways of working and the possibilities of working with historical photography practices. I have previously worked with Cyanotypes and working in the way always feels like I am going back to basics.

I start by making the chemicals to make the cyanotype which will cover the paper which will need to be stored in the dark before I can use it. As it’s summer this is the best and also the worst time to do it. It takes ages to get dark, well dark enough for me to go to work coating the paper in the photographic mixes - I do this on the floor and on the back of a hard surface as it’s quite a messy process.

Once I have completed this process I make a move to quickly move the paper - in the dark to a cupboard where it will take a day or two for the paper to dry. After those few days, I wait again for it to go dark before I bring it back out and store it in a black lightproof bag.

And then I wait for the sun…. which comes eventually …

In the meantime, I have printed some images onto clear transfer paper which has a plastically feel but would work as a negative to use for the Cyanotypes, but the paper I have prepared is smaller than the prints and the images on the transfer paper are not dark enough. So I spend a good 2-3 hours painting over the lines of the photo with Japanese black ink to create a new image a new negative so the work has evolved even further from its initial point. I now have two sets of negatives but in different evolutionary stages, it seems that I have moved into new terrain for me and I am happy to be finding further potential in analogue photography.

This week we had a bright morning, I woke up blurry-eyed and sensed that I must take the opportunity, luckily I had enough sun for an hour before I started work to get the Cyanotypes done. One hour. Not long but long enough to see if my strategy to re-paint the lines had worked and they did, next time I will need more sun and more time but I am happy it worked. Just need to prepare some paper for next time. I’ve also enjoyed working with my hands and the slowness of it all, I will look to see what comes next and I will certainly be exploring cyanotype photography.

I would also recommend the current exhibition at Dulwich Picture Gallery - Unearthed: Photography’s Roots which provided me with a further impetus to engage with historical photographic methods. I welcomed the opportunity to be back in a gallery again. I particularly enjoyed Anna Atkins and her luminous Cyanotypes from over 100 years ago that document the sea and plant life of Victorian Britain. Next to Atkins, Cecilia Glaisher Albumen print’s fern prints provided a lovely contrast - striking and detailed I felt that both Atkins and Glaisher had made me think about locality and what I could source for my own work. The Photogravures of Karl Blossfeldt’s precise and beautifully executed, timeless quality made me reflect on the permanence of photography.

The resistance of basic is of historical photography.

Here are the negatives which I used to make Cyanotypes, I ended up cutting them again, using the lines created from the college to retain a reference to the original form. A collaboration between modern and historical photo methods

And here are the results, the transfer were not left on for long as the light started to hide behind a cloud, I also think maybe the cyanotype mixture was a bit weak as I didn't use much initially and I was trying to be frugal. More to learn for next time, that’s if the sun returns.

Coming back to the beginning again

Marie Smith June 18, 2021

It has been a while since I went on a walk around Brockwell park with my camera, not since late winter.

Seeing the park in full bloom made me feel that those initial photos I had taken for my WIP 2021 were from another era, my mood has shifted slightly but I can still feel and even see the echos of myself pacing the park with a couple of cameras around my next, wrapped up and struggling to keep warm.

Now in the full blast of summer, I was back in the lushness of nature and all of the resplendent glory that makes you grateful for nature and the stimulus it provides. I was here with a group from PhotoFusion as part of its Step-Up programme, we initially met at the gallery and walked down together. We were each given an Ilford HP5 Plus - 35mm disposable Film Camera to use. I gave a short introduction to my practice and in particular my exploration of nature in my practice.

I explained to them what I wanted them when they reached the park and encouraged them to capture at a slower pace than they usually would. I even read them some poetry, and it wasn’t so cringing (hopefully). They all seemed eager and keen to get involved, and it was nice to be around people and talk about photography. I was also aware that it had been a while since I had been around people on a photo walk, all memories of previous ventures had been solitary outings which again changed my perspective. I wonder if it could be possible to do a project around photo-walking? Setting a tone of the walk with a poem or thought to reflect upon?

I’ve been writing many thoughts down and the work made that day will be considered as part of my research - the experience provoked me to think about the collective experience of photography outside of my private thoughts and hopefully the group appreciated putting themselves in a different state of mind. It was a sweltering day so it was challenging to not get overwhelmed by the heat but they did well and I was pleasantly surprised with my results.

This experience also made me reflect on the relationship of my WIP 2021 project to this blog, I can make a connection between the two, and one can provide provocations and ways for me to explore certain ideas. Whatever the outcome, the process will still be useful for me to be constantly editing and questioning the decisions I am making.

I will start reflecting more on portraiture as well as this is something that I want to introduce back into the project and I will initiate this with some self-portraits in a few months.

Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.